Transcript
[0:00] Yeah.
[0:04] She
[0:09] [Music]
[0:20] [Applause]
[0:21] [Music]
[0:32] There are
[0:34] [Music]
[0:35] [Applause]
[0:36] [Music]
[0:55] Lord
[1:10] [Music]
[1:18] in the Lord.
[1:22] Oh
[1:25] my
[1:29] Jesus.
[1:30] [Music]
[1:52] [Music]
[1:58] [Applause]
[2:05] She
[2:06] [Music]
[2:19] wonderful. Oh
[2:30] girl.
[2:32] [Music]
[2:40] Oh
[2:42] [Music]
[2:54] girl.
[2:59] [Music]
[3:07] Yeah.
[3:10] Jes.
[3:12] [Music]
[3:30] [Applause]
[3:30] [Music]
[3:36] [Music]
[3:40] J
[3:42] [Music]
[3:43] [Applause]
[3:45] [Music]
[4:05] in the Lord
[4:09] I
[4:11] [Music]
[4:13] love
[4:19] [Music]
[4:29] in the rolling.
[4:34] [Music]
[4:40] She
[4:41] [Music]
[4:47] [Applause]
[4:50] [Music]
[5:04] She
[5:06] [Music]
[5:10] [Applause]
[5:12] [Music]
[5:19] Yeah.
[5:22] Yeah. Yeah.
[5:26] [Music]
[6:11] I mean, how late did we go? 5
[6:14] >> 4
[6:15] >> 4:30, right? Where's
[6:18] >> 4:30 is what it says on the schedule.
[6:21] >> We don't care about the schedule
[6:24] >> because the schedule doesn't care about
[6:25] us.
[6:31] By the way, Noah joined us today. Noah
[6:45] later that day at Kenchi in Bindavan at
[6:48] the temple.
[6:52] All day long I was kind of thinking
[6:53] about my knee, you know, sitting with
[6:56] Maharaji.
[6:59] At one point, you know, he wasn't
[7:01] supposedly he didn't speak English,
[7:03] understand English, certainly didn't
[7:05] read English.
[7:07] At one point, he he grabbed uh this
[7:10] woman was sitting there with a one of
[7:12] the Westerners. She had a Bible in her
[7:16] bag because Maharaji used to talk to us
[7:18] about Jesus all the time. We thought,
[7:20] what what is he talking us about Jesus
[7:23] about? But he loved Jesus.
[7:27] It was quite extraordinary. But anyway,
[7:29] so he's sitting there and u reaches into
[7:32] her bag and pulls out this Bible, opens
[7:34] it up and points to his verse. Read this
[7:37] to me.
[7:39] So I don't remember exactly the number
[7:41] of the verse, but it was a letter. It
[7:43] was from Corinthians. Corinthians
[7:47] um
[7:48] a letter from St. Paul to some people
[7:51] and um some people somewhere, you know,
[7:57] local desert vagabons.
[8:02] And he said in the letter,
[8:05] he said, "In order to uh save me from an
[8:10] abundance of pride, something like that,
[8:13] it was given to me a thorn in the side."
[8:17] And I beseeched the Lord three times to
[8:21] take it from me.
[8:23] And the Lord said, "My grace is
[8:26] sufficient for thee.
[8:28] My strength is made perfect in your
[8:31] weakness. That's the tr the the the
[8:36] way they translated you know
[8:39] but if we think about it he was Maharaji
[8:42] was telling me something very deep at
[8:43] that point.
[8:46] >> Yeah.
[8:52] He's talking about surrender.
[9:00] My grace is sufficient for thee. My
[9:02] strength, the strength of God, of the
[9:06] divine,
[9:09] is made perfect when we surrender our
[9:12] egoistic will.
[9:15] Our belief that we can do anything at
[9:18] all ever
[9:23] because we can't.
[9:25] We can't even take care of our own
[9:27] hearts.
[9:30] We let every little thing [ __ ] us up.
[9:36] And we still think we're really hot
[9:38] [ __ ]
[9:40] Isn't that great?
[9:43] That's what they call delusion.
[9:46] Very simple.
[9:49] So by surrendering
[9:51] which only happens by grace in the first
[9:54] we can't even surrender.
[9:57] Surrender happens by grace
[10:00] and grace is grace. Nobody deserves
[10:02] grace. Nobody earns grace. Nobody can
[10:04] make grace happen. That's why they call
[10:07] it grace.
[10:11] We can aspire to surrender.
[10:14] We can keep offering
[10:17] our hearts,
[10:19] but we don't really own our hearts. So,
[10:21] we don't we can't offer anything.
[10:24] We can pretend, which we love to do. We
[10:26] think we're really terrific,
[10:29] but we we can't even do that. What we
[10:31] can do is spiritual practice. When you
[10:35] chant and you notice you haven't been
[10:37] paying attention for 357 lifetimes,
[10:42] you just come back.
[10:45] That's all you have to do because back
[10:48] here is where we really are. Our mind,
[10:51] our thoughts, our emotions, our karmas
[10:55] take us away from here. Here is where it
[10:57] is,
[10:59] the present moment.
[11:03] So that's what Jesus was saying.
[11:08] My grace is sufficient is enough
[11:13] and my strength is made perfect when you
[11:16] let go. When you surrender
[11:21] Maharshi says there's two ways to go.
[11:24] Either you you inquire into who you are
[11:29] or you surrender.
[11:32] But even surrender you we we can't do
[11:35] that.
[11:38] But when we do, to the extent that we do
[11:41] surrender, we don't worry.
[11:46] And
[11:48] I there was one saint in my family,
[11:51] my aunt Bella, my great aunt Bella. She
[11:55] was considered a saint because she
[11:58] didn't complain.
[12:00] That's a Jewish saint.
[12:09] We don't worry
[12:13] when you surren when when the when when
[12:16] surrender happens
[12:18] it's very different.
[12:24] You allow things to be as they are
[12:28] and we don't react.
[12:30] No reaction happens. But we can't stop.
[12:33] You understand? You can't stop your
[12:35] reactions.
[12:36] You can only witness them as they arise
[12:40] and come back. Just like when you're
[12:42] chanting. That's why practice lasts all
[12:46] the time.
[12:48] It's not just when you're sitting down
[12:49] pretending to meditate.
[12:52] It's the rest of the day.
[13:05] They used to say about Maharaji that he
[13:07] had no itcha of his own, no will.
[13:11] Everything that happened, everything he
[13:13] did was
[13:14] happening through him. When he got up
[13:16] and walked across the courtyard, it
[13:18] wasn't like he thought, "Okay, now I'll
[13:20] go across the courtyard." It was he was
[13:22] being moved across the courtyard. when
[13:25] people were healed, when things
[13:27] happened, it he wasn't doing it. There
[13:29] was no one in there.
[13:32] Just like when he when I was going to
[13:34] kill myself,
[13:36] I was in the middle of a big nervous
[13:38] breakdown, hallucinations,
[13:41] insanity.
[13:43] He looked at me, said, "What are you
[13:44] going to do? Jump in the river?"
[13:48] He wasn't taking this very seriously.
[13:51] Of course, the river was only six inches
[13:53] deep,
[13:55] but you know, if I got my head under a
[13:57] rock or something, it could work.
[14:00] He said, "You can't die.
[14:03] Worldly people don't die.
[14:05] Only Jesus died the real death."
[14:08] What? I'm in a Hanaman temple in the
[14:11] Himalayas with the little Baba, Indian
[14:13] Baba. He's talking to you about Jesus.
[14:15] He said, "Why? Why did he die the real
[14:17] death? Why? Because he never thought of
[14:20] himself.
[14:23] Oh, what do we do all day long, all
[14:28] lifelong, all night long, and for life
[14:31] and life to come? All we do is think
[14:33] about ourselves. How am I now? How am I
[14:36] now? Do I have enough of this? Do I have
[14:37] too much of that? Do I have a this?
[14:39] Should I look like this? Should I be
[14:40] taller, shorter, fatter, skinnier, dark,
[14:43] light? You know, all we do is think
[14:45] about ourselves. Everything we do refers
[14:48] back to me.
[14:50] everything.
[14:52] Is this a good meditation? Yeah, it must
[14:54] be good. I'm sitting here. Yeah. Right.
[14:55] Great.
[15:00] So,
[15:02] but you can't stop thoughts. Where are
[15:05] they? Where do they come from? Where do
[15:06] they go? You can only notice that you're
[15:10] gone
[15:11] and come back. And that moment of
[15:15] noticing you haven't been paying
[15:16] attention is a very, very big moment.
[15:20] It's actually magic because we didn't do
[15:24] that. We were gone
[15:27] thinking about something else, right?
[15:30] And you're not paying any attention. How
[15:32] did you notice you were thinking about
[15:33] something else? We didn't do that. It
[15:36] happened.
[15:42] And of course you know that the laws of
[15:45] karma, cause and effect, nothing can
[15:48] arise without a cause. What could be the
[15:51] cause of waking up?
[15:53] Some action or some karma that was
[15:55] created to wake up in some life or
[15:58] other. Otherwise, we would never wake
[16:00] up. Most people on this planet, they're
[16:03] born, graduate high school, drink some
[16:06] beer, and die. And that's it. They're
[16:10] not here. one second of a life.
[16:17] If that's not sad.
[16:21] And that's why the world is the way it
[16:22] is. It's our mind.
[16:26] This world,
[16:28] the minds of all of us.
[16:43] So
[16:46] karma and practice is very important.
[16:50] Without some practice, without planting
[16:53] the seeds of the things we want, how
[16:55] will they grow?
[17:00] How will they grow?
[17:09] they won't. And every minute is planting
[17:12] a seed. Every action we take,
[17:15] essentially every thought we have.
[17:18] So if we're not planting positive
[17:20] thoughts, thoughts of of goodness that
[17:22] that bring about goodness and kindness
[17:26] and compassion and caring for ourselves
[17:29] and others, then we're planting
[17:31] something else
[17:34] every second.
[17:36] And those things we plant will grow.
[17:51] But you know,
[17:55] we hear these things and we go like,
[17:57] "Yeah, yeah, that sounds Yeah. But we
[17:59] don't do [ __ ] We don't do anything." I
[18:03] used to When I would be in India
[18:06] visiting, staying with my Indian family,
[18:08] the Tuaris, Mr. and M, Mr. Mr. Toari and
[18:12] I would sleep in one bed and Mrs. Tori
[18:14] would sleep with the kids.
[18:16] Every morning around 3:00, he'd wake up,
[18:20] go take a pee, come back to bed, cross
[18:23] his legs, boom,
[18:27] he'd be gone for like four or five hours
[18:29] till the rest of the house woke up.
[18:33] Not once in 30 years.
[18:37] Did he ever say to me,
[18:40] um,
[18:42] would you like to meditate?
[18:45] Maybe, you know, you should meditate a
[18:46] little bit. Not once. He let me be just
[18:50] as stupid as I was going to be. He never
[18:54] and he could have, but that wasn't the
[18:56] way it works. I had to want it. I would
[19:00] wake up. I'd see him go to the bathroom.
[19:01] I'd see him sit up and I'd turn over and
[19:03] go back to sleep every morning.
[19:07] Oh man, talk about regret.
[19:11] Cuz this guy knew what was going on. He
[19:13] could have taught me. He did later do
[19:15] other things, but all those
[19:18] opportunities I had, I just wasn't
[19:20] ready. I wasn't hungry. You can't make a
[19:24] person eat unless they're hungry.
[19:30] So that's our situation. We'd like to be
[19:34] hungry.
[19:36] We'd like to do practice. We'd like to
[19:38] be free. But you know what's on TV?
[19:44] You know, it's it's like that.
[19:48] What to do? As they said,
[19:54] what to do?
[19:56] We are who we are.
[20:01] But one thing we could do, we could try
[20:04] not to be so hard on ourselves because
[20:08] that's a program that causes a lot of
[20:11] suffering.
[20:14] And we pretty much most of us have a lot
[20:16] of that program running.
[20:19] I certainly do, still do.
[20:24] And it's not so easy to learn how to be
[20:26] kind to oneself.
[20:29] We're very harsh, very judgmental
[20:32] about our supposed shortcomings and
[20:36] our frustrations and all that stuff.
[20:42] But don't worry, if you get old enough,
[20:45] it gets less.
[20:48] After a while, I'm too old for that
[20:50] [ __ ]
[20:53] But it's better not to wait because
[20:55] there's no guarantee you'll make it.
[21:17] But it's good to kind of see where we're
[21:19] at, to notice it.
[21:23] And to see how
[21:26] see the programs that are run through
[21:28] the day, through our lives, how we get
[21:31] pushed around by that stuff inside.
[21:41] But these practices they they what they
[21:44] they purify the mind.
[21:46] They they clean the the mind flow little
[21:50] by little.
[21:51] And like Maharaji said, even at first
[21:53] you may not have any real devotion,
[21:56] over time through the repetition of the
[21:58] name, the mind will become more uh clear
[22:04] and eventually you'll you'll really call
[22:07] out
[22:09] and then the real thing will happen.
[22:12] But he did say go on repeat your lying
[22:15] fake ram rams because you have to
[22:21] it's a purification practice and it
[22:23] brings us back from dreamland eventually
[22:28] because we live in dreamland.
[22:33] We live inside of our own little dream,
[22:36] each one of us. And they bump up against
[22:38] everybody's dreams bump up against each
[22:40] other and kind of,
[22:42] you know, they don't have hard edges.
[22:44] They kind of melt into each other. We
[22:47] agree that we are
[22:50] who we are.
[22:54] It's too bad it's not true.
[22:58] My dream, in my dream, I know who all of
[23:00] you are. I look at you. I see your hair.
[23:02] I see the way you sit. I see this and
[23:04] that. And I think I know you. So
[23:06] essentially, I'm playing your part in my
[23:09] dream.
[23:12] And we do this all day long, all
[23:14] lifelong.
[23:22] The movie of me.
[23:24] We wake up in the morning
[23:27] writing, producing, directing, and
[23:29] acting in the movie of me.
[23:32] and playing all the parts
[23:35] and then we write reviews
[23:39] which we read and get even more
[23:41] depressed
[23:43] and it never ends.
[23:49] So that's why even hearing about the
[23:51] dharma, even hearing about spiritual
[23:53] practice is really amazing.
[23:58] It's like a wakeup call from the far
[24:00] distance echoing through the canyons and
[24:03] it's like what is that? Somebody's
[24:05] calling me about what? Ah, never mind.
[24:08] And then what is that?
[24:12] Eventually we wake up. We hear the call
[24:15] and we respond.
[24:17] But right now it's just a faint echo.
[24:25] But it's there. That call is always here
[24:28] because it's coming from our own hearts.
[24:33] And when we do practice, we're just
[24:35] moving more deeply into our self, our
[24:37] true self.
[24:40] These names that we chant are the names,
[24:42] our own true names. They're the names of
[24:45] our own true being. The presence within
[24:48] us, the love that lives within us as who
[24:51] we really are.
[24:53] That's what these names are. So, calling
[24:56] out our own name,
[24:59] invoking our own presence.
[25:02] And it's all inside. It's not outside.
[25:09] Those are musicians making noise in
[25:11] there.
[25:13] Yes, it is.
[25:15] Miserable people.
[25:20] All right, let's do some Q&A. I'll I'll
[25:24] ask the questions. Anybody
[25:37] have anything to say? Raise your hand
[25:39] and you'll be shot.
[25:45] Is this on? This working? Good.
[25:50] Uh, no wait. Not first. No, no, no. I
[25:52] can't take her first. Come on. You You
[25:55] don't want to be first. You You know
[25:57] what it's like. Yeah. Okay. Every year
[25:59] we go through the same dance, so we'll
[26:01] just wait until we warm up a little bit.
[26:03] Okay. Uh I know. I know. It's okay.
[26:10] Maybe she's the only one. We'll have to
[26:12] do it. I I'm trying to save you people.
[26:15] Okay. Somebody else.
[26:22] >> Hi, Katie. Thanks for doing this Q&A and
[26:25] being here.
[26:26] >> Hold on.
[26:26] >> Yeah,
[26:27] >> keep talking.
[26:29] >> Um, I just have a question about
[26:32] burnout.
[26:32] >> It's not on, Kev.
[26:35] >> Not on.
[26:38] >> Yeah, I just have a question about
[26:39] burnout and um how
[26:41] >> burnin or burnout?
[26:42] >> Burnout. how how that's viewed maybe
[26:45] from
[26:47] um Indian culture and kind of spiritual
[26:49] perspective versus like when we're
[26:52] talking about being selfless and
[26:54] thinking of ourselves less. Um how could
[26:57] one do that and at the same time not
[27:00] burn out and just try trying to think in
[27:02] like a practical way.
[27:04] >> What is I don't understand what you mean
[27:05] by burnout.
[27:06] >> Burnout like you know with people in the
[27:08] helping professions, nurses, social
[27:10] workers and whatnot burning out.
[27:13] >> Yeah. So it was kind of just thinking
[27:15] about
[27:16] >> how to apply it
[27:19] practice.
[27:19] >> Well, there's there's the physical side
[27:21] of it, you know, which is very draining
[27:24] and you need to be pay attention to your
[27:26] physical health
[27:30] and um
[27:36] that has a lot to do with what people go
[27:38] through. But dealing with with the
[27:40] horror of of
[27:43] of the the things that people go through
[27:47] is very difficult.
[27:49] Very difficult.
[27:54] And one thing you can't ever do and
[27:57] expect an answer is to ask why.
[28:01] There's there's no answer to that
[28:03] question. Not in our framework.
[28:14] And when you don't ask why,
[28:18] then you kind of just deal with it as it
[28:21] is. You don't wish it to be. You don't
[28:24] hope it's another way. Of course, you
[28:26] wish that it wouldn't be somebody
[28:28] wouldn't be suffering so much. But if
[28:31] they are, they are. And what what you
[28:33] can do to alleviate that suffering, you
[28:35] do. But as far as the causes of that,
[28:39] that's hidden in their karmic
[28:42] uh bank account, so to speak.
[28:47] So if you don't ask why, then you're
[28:49] more open and you're and you have more
[28:51] access to a deeper kind of uh
[28:57] context for it all and you're not
[29:00] fighting with yourself about it.
[29:03] But that takes work. It takes dedication
[29:07] to letting go again and again and again
[29:09] because we we get caught in that stuff
[29:11] all the time.
[29:14] It's very hard to see people suffer.
[29:25] I read this book by a Tibetan llama that
[29:27] lived in America for a long time. He
[29:30] just just left the body a few months
[29:32] ago. Beautiful, beautiful llama. When he
[29:34] was 16 years old in the monastery in
[29:37] Tibet,
[29:39] his guru came to him in the middle of
[29:41] the night and said, "You're coming with
[29:43] me now. You can't say goodbye to your
[29:45] family. You can't say goodbye to
[29:47] anybody. We're leaving right now." And
[29:49] they went out the back door of the
[29:51] monastery and eventually escaped to uh
[29:55] to India. And everyone else was murdered
[29:58] by the Chinese.
[30:00] So and his his guru saved his life
[30:04] a beautiful llama. He wrote a book I was
[30:07] just telling Rah about it earlier. It's
[30:09] called peaceful life joyous rebirth
[30:15] and it's about
[30:18] what they called the dogs d
[30:21] in Tibet. This happens in every culture
[30:23] but in Tibet they're called dogs. And
[30:25] what happens? Someone dies and then they
[30:28] come back to life like three days later.
[30:33] And what happens is they go to and they
[30:37] go up before the Lord of Death and the
[30:38] Lord of Death said, "Uh, wait a minute.
[30:41] You're not supposed to be here for like
[30:43] 30 more years." So, but since you're
[30:45] here, take a look around.
[30:48] See how this is, see how it works, and
[30:50] then go back and tell people. And that's
[30:53] what happens. They go they go back and
[30:55] they wake up and you know and while they
[30:58] were there they were hearing people
[30:59] arguing about who gets the jewelry or
[31:02] the land or this kind of stuff you know
[31:04] and they wake up and say you know you
[31:06] [ __ ] you
[31:08] but then they usually they they leave
[31:10] like housewives not just yogis but you
[31:13] know people in villages and they just
[31:16] they come back from these experiences
[31:18] completely different and they go around
[31:20] and they tell people. So I was reading
[31:22] this book and and
[31:24] he he describes a scene where this this
[31:27] woman came uh died and came before the
[31:31] Lord of Death and um
[31:35] he had a bunch of attendants and one of
[31:37] the attendants had a scale
[31:40] and one hand was white beads and the
[31:44] other side was black beads
[31:47] and depending on which way the scale was
[31:49] tilting
[31:51] This this was what dictated where you
[31:54] go, which direction you go when you
[31:56] leave the body. And then there was a
[31:58] ledger of every thought you've ever had,
[32:03] right?
[32:04] That too.
[32:07] Every single thought, not just
[32:08] everything you've done, but every
[32:10] thought. It blew my mind because there
[32:13] are no secrets.
[32:17] We think we can fool ourselves and we
[32:19] can but we can't fool the universe.
[32:24] Everything is known
[32:26] and every karmic action has a result.
[32:33] Good luck.
[32:36] Good luck. Because we can't, you know,
[32:38] we keep on doing stuff that causes
[32:41] suffering for ourselves and others.
[32:44] We keep doing it even though we know
[32:46] it's not the thing to do.
[32:49] But don't worry, we have to pay for
[32:51] that.
[32:54] I remember when I've told this story
[32:56] many times
[32:59] back when George W. was president.
[33:02] Remember George W. The guy they called
[33:05] Big Hat No Cattle.
[33:09] So I was watching CNN and they were
[33:13] showing uh he the president flew down to
[33:17] Florida to meet with the first group of
[33:20] widows from the Iraq war. The war that
[33:22] he started because his father had
[33:26] commitments and he had business
[33:27] commitments. He had to do all kinds of
[33:29] things. So he started this war
[33:33] and um he was going down to meet the
[33:35] first group of widows from the army
[33:40] and they showed him walking down it was
[33:42] the the meeting was in a school in a
[33:44] school room classroom in the school and
[33:47] the cameras following him as he walked
[33:48] down the hall and he's waving to the
[33:50] camera guys. Hey Joe. Hey Frank. Yeah,
[33:52] I'm the president. Walking down the hall
[33:55] like this and he walked into the room
[33:57] where these ladies were waiting and he
[34:00] took one look at them and he burst out
[34:02] crying like a baby. This was on TV.
[34:06] Crying like a baby. I mean weeping.
[34:11] It really pissed me off because I
[34:14] couldn't hate him anymore.
[34:17] I couldn't hate him. And I
[34:20] he would I saw
[34:25] everything he did. He was going to
[34:27] suffer.
[34:29] I didn't want to see him suffer.
[34:32] I hated to admit that to myself, but I
[34:35] didn't. But there was no escape.
[34:39] He was going to suffer for causing all
[34:41] that suffering.
[34:43] And there was no way around that.
[34:47] It was it was horrible.
[34:51] I mean, he didn't want to suffer, but
[34:54] his own actions
[34:56] being in that position forced him to do
[34:58] certain things.
[35:02] He essentially had a choice. We all have
[35:04] choices.
[35:06] But he found himself in a situation
[35:08] where he had to make the choice he made
[35:11] that he was going to burn for that
[35:15] just like we burn for the things that
[35:16] we've done and do and the suffering we
[35:20] cause ourselves and others.
[35:24] But
[35:26] the good part is that the burning is the
[35:29] purification of those karmas.
[35:32] It's the price we pay, but the price
[35:34] gets paid and then it's over.
[35:37] Which is why karma is not evil fate.
[35:41] Karma is the the road to freedom.
[35:44] Because
[35:46] if we're here now, it means we're at
[35:48] least somewhat interested in this
[35:50] nonsense.
[35:52] And that means we ourselves have created
[35:54] the karmas that brought us here. And
[35:56] we're hearing this stuff. We're singing.
[35:58] We're chanting. We're meditating. We do
[36:00] all that stuff which is creating more
[36:03] positive karmas
[36:05] and creating a different future than
[36:07] might have been if we weren't here. If
[36:09] we were just at home burning burning cow
[36:13] meat and drinking beer.
[36:15] Who knows? This might be better
[36:20] if
[36:23] there's possibility there.
[36:28] So that's why karma is is freedom
[36:31] because every moment no matter what has
[36:34] arisen in this moment
[36:37] which we have no control over what
[36:39] arises now what comes into this moment
[36:43] that we have no control over. What we do
[36:46] have some vote over
[36:49] possibly is how we live in this moment
[36:53] with that.
[36:55] What vote we get in this moment which of
[36:58] course influences the next moment.
[37:03] So it's like if you fight the waves, if
[37:05] you try to get in an ocean with big
[37:07] waves and you try to fight those waves
[37:09] and you get knocked down. But if you
[37:11] float it in and flow with it, you can
[37:14] get into the ocean. If we fight against
[37:17] our karmas,
[37:19] if we fight against everything, if we
[37:21] hate and get anger and violently react
[37:24] to things, what we create is more of
[37:27] that.
[37:28] But if we find a way to be present with
[37:31] something and
[37:34] notice our reactions, because we can't
[37:36] stop our reactions, they're knee-jerk
[37:38] reactions. Like someone cuts you off in
[37:40] a car, son of Oh, okay. You know, you
[37:44] can't stop that, but you can notice it
[37:46] and let it go. How long it takes us to
[37:49] let it go is is interesting.
[37:56] So, but that's why
[38:00] every action
[38:02] is becomes a cause. Every cause becomes
[38:05] an effect and every effect becomes a
[38:08] cause. as a rolling cycle of actions.
[38:13] And the more present we are
[38:16] and the more plugged in we are and the
[38:20] quieter our hearts are,
[38:23] the more we actually get a vote as to
[38:24] how we go through our lives.
[38:28] But most of us haven't registered for
[38:29] voting yet.
[38:32] But sooner or later they'll send us the
[38:34] uh the registration in the mail
[38:38] and we'll uh fill out the form and maybe
[38:40] someday we'll get a vote as to how we go
[38:42] through the day.
[38:44] Okay, somebody back there.
[38:51] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm
[38:53] deaf and old. There's a microphone
[38:54] coming.
[38:58] >> Thank you. I haven't quite formulated
[39:00] the question, but it's about when
[39:05] children are traumatized and things are
[39:08] done to the child.
[39:10] The idea of karma,
[39:13] I can make it say, "Oh, I must have done
[39:15] something wrong and I've spent my life
[39:17] trying to believe I was innocent." And
[39:20] so, I'd love to hear a bit about
[39:23] about
[39:24] how that weaves into what you're talking
[39:26] about.
[39:28] Is that clear enough or do I need to
[39:30] articulate?
[39:30] >> Unfortunately, it is. Yeah.
[39:31] >> Okay. Thank you.
[39:51] First of all, they say only a fully
[39:53] enlightened being can understand the
[39:56] workings of karmas.
[39:58] They say that every one of us has been
[40:02] everything to everyone else. We've all
[40:04] been mother, father, friend, lover,
[40:07] sister, brother, enemy
[40:10] to each other through all kinds of
[40:12] millions and millions of lifetimes.
[40:15] That's what they say.
[40:20] They also say that every life
[40:23] you get a little package of karma to
[40:27] work off. Not the whole thing, just a
[40:31] little bit that you can do in one
[40:32] lifetime.
[40:38] And sometimes people think a birth is
[40:41] very difficult.
[40:44] Not just to mention in like in this
[40:46] country or in this culture which is a
[40:50] first world culture, somebody grows up
[40:53] in a family where they're abused. What
[40:55] about if they're born in a refugee camp?
[40:58] What if they're born where where every
[41:01] year they have to move? The whole
[41:03] village has to move. The whole community
[41:05] has to move. They're getting bombed.
[41:06] They're getting beaten. They're
[41:10] this world
[41:15] sucks.
[41:18] The amount of suffering in this world is
[41:20] unbelievable.
[41:22] The amount of suffering we allow
[41:23] ourselves to see
[41:26] very small because we can't deal with
[41:28] it. We can't deal with it. It would
[41:31] destroy us.
[41:34] What you're talking about, who can live
[41:35] with that? Who can see that and live?
[41:39] It's just too much.
[41:42] But it happens. Children are
[41:44] traumatized. Children are abused. People
[41:47] are abused. People are killed in the
[41:49] street.
[41:51] Everywhere you go, it happens
[41:54] everywhere.
[41:58] Well, like I said, one thing we can't do
[42:00] is demand to know why
[42:05] because why is beyond our our ability to
[42:07] know. It's it's above our pay grade.
[42:12] The only thing we can do for any other
[42:14] being is to try to keep our hearts open
[42:19] and available
[42:23] and not close off, not have to close off
[42:25] to protect ourselves from the suffering.
[42:29] So why a child is abused? Why this
[42:32] happens?
[42:36] >> Um, go ahead.
[42:37] >> The the
[42:41] [Music]
[42:47] I guess the question is
[42:50] how does one ever really get to
[42:53] experience one's own innocence?
[42:57] Because when you're a child, you always
[42:59] believe it's your own fault.
[43:02] Any thoughts on that, please?
[43:05] >> Yeah.
[43:07] Don't think that a child is is doesn't
[43:11] have karma.
[43:13] Everyone has karma.
[43:17] We have a romantic ideal about children
[43:19] being pure at heart.
[43:21] I'm sorry. It's not like that.
[43:25] Yeah, they may not have caused any
[43:26] suffering yet. They got born into a
[43:28] particular family in a particular place
[43:31] in a particular time because of their
[43:34] karmas
[43:35] and how those unfold.
[43:38] It unfolds.
[43:40] It unfolds the way it has to unfold.
[43:44] Children are not
[43:46] without karma. Every they're born
[43:49] because of karma. We're all these bodies
[43:51] exist because of our karmas. How we got
[43:55] here, we don't know. How somebody else
[43:57] got here, we don't know.
[44:00] And as far as innocence, you know,
[44:03] that's not the right word. Nobody's
[44:06] innocent.
[44:08] Anybody in a body, we're already guilty.
[44:13] Guilty is charged. We have to live in
[44:15] this world of cause and effect. This
[44:18] world of samsara where there's nothing
[44:20] but suffering. There's joy. If you can
[44:24] find it, that joy is inside. That's the
[44:27] innocence you're looking for. And that's
[44:28] in everybody. It's our true nature. But
[44:33] most of us are not born
[44:36] with an awareness of that with an with
[44:39] the understanding that that we are
[44:41] essentially pure. There are religions in
[44:43] this world who teach us that we're we're
[44:45] [ __ ] to start with.
[44:48] One time uh these missionaries met with
[44:50] the Dalai Lama Christian missionaries
[44:54] and at one point one of them said your
[44:55] holiness what's your understanding of
[44:58] sin
[45:00] and he was quiet for a while then he
[45:02] said
[45:04] kind of a Christian thing isn't it
[45:10] you know the so-called Eastern religions
[45:13] they don't have a there's no original
[45:15] sin there's original purity. Buddha
[45:19] nature, the soul is absolutely pure as
[45:22] it is, but we've covered it up with our
[45:25] millions of lifetimes of [ __ ]
[45:29] The fact that we're looking and
[45:31] understand there might be a way to
[45:32] uncover that place inside is big thing.
[45:36] But there's no original sin
[45:40] unless you want to control people and
[45:42] then you tell them you're guilty and I
[45:44] can make you pure. I can forgive you.
[45:48] Jesus never said that stuff.
[45:53] For instance, there's a book written by
[45:55] an Aramaic scholar. Aramaic was the
[45:58] language that Jesus spoke that was
[46:00] spoken at that time.
[46:02] He said, 'If you were in the crowd that
[46:05] day listening to Jesus give this sermon
[46:09] where he says, "From an evil tree comes
[46:12] evil fruit and from a righteous tree
[46:14] comes righteous fruit," which is the
[46:16] King James version. He said, "If you
[46:18] were in the crowd that day as an Aramaic
[46:21] speaking person listening to Jesus who
[46:24] was speaking Aramaic, what you would
[46:26] have heard was from a ripe tree comes
[46:30] ripe fruit. From an unripe tree comes
[46:33] unripe fruit. There was no good and
[46:35] evil.
[46:37] They did that later to control you.
[46:41] And for instance, there's all kinds of
[46:43] things like that. Like in the in the
[46:46] there's a a beautiful book called the
[46:47] unvarnished New Testament.
[46:50] And it's a translation from the Greek.
[46:53] The Greek was written down a hundred
[46:55] years after Jesus. One of the first ones
[46:58] written down. And the word uh what's
[47:02] later translated as holy spirit spirit
[47:05] which is up in the sky it's not in the
[47:07] body right it's up somewhere else
[47:10] is actually holy breath
[47:14] where is the breath it's in the body it
[47:18] connects us to life it's a whole other
[47:21] way of seeing which is what he was
[47:24] talking about
[47:26] when Maharaji asked he used to tease us
[47:28] says who's hanuman Who is Hanaman? We
[47:30] gave him all this, you know, the the
[47:33] normal answers. Oh, he's the perfect
[47:35] servant. The servant of Ram. Nate, he
[47:37] said he's the breath of Ram.
[47:41] The breath.
[47:44] The breath.
[47:47] So,
[47:49] we've we've been so programmed
[47:52] unknowingly
[47:54] born into this world in these cultures
[47:56] at these times. The things we believe,
[48:00] we don't even know we believe them. And
[48:03] most of us, we believe that we're not
[48:05] enough as we are already. We have that
[48:10] because our parents, what did our
[48:11] parents know? What did my grandparents
[48:13] know?
[48:16] So, we've absorbed all that stuff and
[48:19] our our self-hatred and self-loathing
[48:21] and lack of self-kindness and love.
[48:25] That's what we carry around with us. And
[48:27] it colors everything.
[48:39] Anybody over here? Yeah.
[48:44] >> Where'd you get that t-shirt?
[48:50] >> Hi.
[48:50] >> Hi. Thank you so much. Um, my name is
[48:53] Samantha. Um, I've been listening to
[48:56] your chanting more in the past few
[48:58] months and I feel like it's really um,
[49:01] helped me open up and relax and be
[49:04] present with people. And my question is
[49:09] um, when you're first getting into kran
[49:12] and chanting, you kind of talked about
[49:14] not knowing the word, not knowing what
[49:16] the words mean and just saying them
[49:18] anyway. Um, and do you think there is
[49:21] more power in saying the Sanskrit
[49:23] chanting than some English songs or
[49:27] songs that incorporate English uh in it?
[49:30] And and how do you think um those sort
[49:33] of compare?
[49:35] >> Well, let's not talk about more or less.
[49:37] Let's just talk about different. Okay.
[49:39] >> When we sing in English, we know what it
[49:41] means. We're in the realm of concepts of
[49:45] mental images.
[49:47] you know, we're we're we're using words.
[49:50] We know what they mean, and they may be
[49:52] very inspiring. They may open us up
[49:55] emotionally and stuff like that, but
[49:59] they lock us into that realm, that that
[50:03] that bandwidth.
[50:06] The chants
[50:08] are the names of what's nameless.
[50:12] They are windows or doorways into a
[50:16] deeper place inside of us that's deeper
[50:18] than thoughts, deeper than emotions,
[50:21] deeper than understanding in the mind.
[50:24] So through those invoking those names,
[50:28] as they call, they're sounds, we don't
[50:29] have to call them names, those mantras,
[50:33] you're you're actually moving yourself
[50:36] deeper into your own true nature.
[50:40] And the deeper you go,
[50:43] the more open you are and the less
[50:45] you're at the mercy of your emotional
[50:47] stuff.
[50:49] Most of us, we we we calm down a little
[50:52] bit and we feel better because at that
[50:54] moment we're not getting beaten up by
[50:55] our own stuff.
[50:58] And so that's a good thing. Um
[51:01] there's in India there's there's the
[51:04] budgeons which are like gospel songs.
[51:06] They tell stories of the, you know, the
[51:09] gods and the deities and stuff like
[51:11] that. And they're very inspiring, just
[51:13] the way gospel songs and certain songs
[51:15] are. Like when I first heard foreigners
[51:18] sing, I want to know what love is. I
[51:20] almost drove off the road. You know,
[51:22] >> that's my favorite.
[51:23] >> Yeah. I was like,
[51:26] I was weeping. I was crying so bad. I
[51:28] couldn't see the road. I had to stop.
[51:31] >> So things that's really wonderful. It's
[51:33] beautiful. But but
[51:40] did it free me? Did it free me from
[51:45] my
[51:47] programs, from my reactions, from my
[51:50] likes and dislikes?
[51:52] No. But it was a good hit.
[51:55] No question about it. And that's the
[51:58] difference
[51:59] because they say Sanskrit is a revealed
[52:02] language. means it came into this world
[52:05] from another world, from a deeper
[52:07] reality.
[52:09] And it was brought here by beings who
[52:12] came from that reality, who were not
[52:14] locked into this little narrow bandwidth
[52:17] which we call the world where we live
[52:20] most of the time.
[52:22] >> But it's not that you, you know, you can
[52:24] understand those things. It's nice that
[52:26] there's nice stories, but when it comes
[52:29] down to practice, you're either here or
[52:31] you're not.
[52:32] And all that stuff is not
[52:36] but the name is here.
[52:39] And Maharaji said through the repetition
[52:41] of the name everything is accomplished.
[52:46] So
[52:48] but name is a big thing. Name you know
[52:52] it's a real mystery that's for sure.
[53:00] >> Yeah. Hi.
[53:04] >> Just a quick question. When you're when
[53:07] you're not being Krishna Das,
[53:09] >> I'm being you. Shut up.
[53:10] >> How do you How do you And you're not
[53:13] being me. How do you have fun?
[53:18] >> None of your business.
[53:27] >> And I'm always Krishna even if I forget.
[53:32] And uh this is my fun. This is the most
[53:34] fun I can have. Chanting and hanging out
[53:38] with people and talking about this
[53:39] stuff.
[53:41] This is the best I can do.
[53:52] >> Yeah. Okay. Her turn. Get ready.
[53:55] Everybody take a deep breath.
[53:57] >> I'm just teasing. I love this lady so
[53:59] much. We've been we've been doing this
[54:00] every year for like 20 years here.
[54:03] >> Well, only 12
[54:05] >> 12. Okay. Feels like
[54:07] >> minus five.
[54:11] >> But uh first of all, really thank you
[54:13] for making me wait because the two
[54:15] questions that you took and your
[54:17] responses
[54:18] >> have complete just hit the nail on the
[54:20] head from my life since we last saw I
[54:23] last saw you five years. My grandsons
[54:27] went from being 12 and 13 to being 16,
[54:30] 17 and 18.
[54:31] >> From being sweet little boys to
[54:32] criminals.
[54:33] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[54:34] >> I mean, literally, you're right.
[54:37] >> In one case,
[54:38] >> how did I know?
[54:38] >> And and and uh and now I have custody of
[54:41] the younger guy that I was telling you
[54:43] about yesterday.
[54:44] >> And I I mean, I got to tell you,
[54:49] >> a person my age living with teenage boys
[54:52] does not work well.
[54:53] Um, but for for me, I think it's working
[54:57] okay for him. But I I have had probably
[55:02] the worst five years of my life since
[55:04] last I saw you. And I have and now I
[55:06] have no sum. Is that the word? What we
[55:09] are here? Yes. I have none of that. So
[55:11] I'm I'm totally on my own spiritually.
[55:15] And I I'm losing track of like who I am
[55:19] in some way.
[55:21] >> Might be a good thing.
[55:22] >> Yeah. Well, it's not new, actually. You
[55:24] know, I feel like Alice in Wonderland,
[55:26] we're all mad here, you know. Um, but
[55:29] but that wasn't what I was going to ask
[55:31] you about. I just wanted to thank you
[55:34] for making me wait because it really
[55:36] meant a lot to me to hear all that.
[55:39] >> But that being said,
[55:41] >> I've waited two years to ask you this
[55:43] question, just so you know.
[55:45] >> Um, it it uh it it was um in one of your
[55:49] I think it was your last online Chaien
[55:51] chat. uh in 2022.
[55:54] >> Really? It's been that long since I did
[55:55] one of those,
[55:56] >> I think. So, because I I was trying to
[55:58] tune in to all of them
[55:59] >> and and and someone uh who's
[56:01] participating
[56:03] was trying to get some clarity on
[56:07] love because, you know, it's a word that
[56:09] it's one word, but it has so many
[56:12] meanings in in actuality. You know, we
[56:14] don't have enough ways to express what
[56:17] can mean. She anyway she was trying to
[56:19] get you to to talk about love and she
[56:22] was trying to understand the experience
[56:24] of it and you said
[56:27] >> I love this. Go ahead.
[56:29] >> And I have a quote because I wrote it
[56:31] down immediately and stuck it on my
[56:32] mirror and it's been there for two
[56:34] years.
[56:34] >> Okay.
[56:35] >> Uh you said
[56:38] and and this is
[56:39] >> okay. What did I say?
[56:41] >> I'm going to keep you in the dark. No.
[56:43] Um, what you said was love is what's
[56:46] left when you let go of everything else.
[56:50] >> And like
[56:56] it's true.
[56:58] And and and it really like clicked in my
[57:00] head. I was like, "Oh, of of course, of
[57:02] course." You know, of So I wrote it
[57:04] down, stuck it on my mirror. It's still
[57:06] there.
[57:07] >> But then I started to think, "Well,
[57:08] >> no, don't think."
[57:10] >> Yeah. But
[57:12] >> you want
[57:13] >> what's left when you let go of
[57:15] everything else. That's what you got.
[57:16] That's the part you have to remember.
[57:18] >> That's exactly that's right. Because
[57:20] what I'm trying to figure out what I
[57:21] started to think what I start to think
[57:23] about
[57:24] >> was
[57:26] what's everything else
[57:27] >> like is it like do I throw away my
[57:30] grandsons? Do I become unattached to you
[57:33] know do I give away my dog? Do I you
[57:36] know or do I let go of my fear, my
[57:38] worry, my you know what is the
[57:40] everything else?
[57:42] >> Letting go first of all doesn't mean
[57:43] pushing away.
[57:45] >> It means letting it be as it is and not
[57:47] trying to change it or demand clarity
[57:51] when there is none.
[58:00] >> Well I
[58:03] Well,
[58:06] >> Lewis Carol was right. We're all mad
[58:08] here.
[58:09] >> No question about it.
[58:10] >> Yeah. Um I
[58:13] >> You love you you longar you long for
[58:15] clarity so much, but you you're swimming
[58:17] in an ocean of [ __ ] There's no clarity
[58:19] there.
[58:20] >> You have to you have to let yourself out
[58:23] of the ocean of [ __ ]
[58:25] >> And there'll be clarity, but you it's
[58:27] not something about you can't rearrange
[58:29] the [ __ ] and expect clarity. It doesn't
[58:32] happen that way. Clarity is what is is
[58:35] is is it's our true nature. But it's not
[58:39] here. It's when you let go of all that
[58:42] stuff. Letting go doesn't mean pushing
[58:44] away. It doesn't mean kicking your
[58:45] grandson out of the house. It means
[58:47] letting him be who he is and not
[58:49] fighting with him about who he is.
[58:51] That's your problem, not his problem.
[58:53] >> If I let him not be who he is, he would
[58:55] never go to school.
[58:56] >> Well, that's not who he is. He He has
[58:58] rules. See, in order to stay in your
[58:59] house, you have certain rules and
[59:01] society has certain rules and he ought
[59:03] to learn how to figure that out.
[59:05] Otherwise, he'll be in behind bars the
[59:07] rest of his life. So, that part you can
[59:09] give to him, but you don't have to judge
[59:10] him. Your job is to provide him with
[59:15] some
[59:17] uh
[59:19] what do they call it? Border borders.
[59:22] Boundaries.
[59:23] But we all have problems because our
[59:26] parents didn't respect our boundaries.
[59:28] Where how are we going to figure out how
[59:29] to make our own boundaries,
[59:31] >> especially when there's a generation gap
[59:34] that's very difficult because I'm
[59:36] >> we're so old we don't can't even spell
[59:38] the word hormones anymore. But this kid
[59:40] is is like, you know, under the
[59:41] influence.
[59:42] >> I know. It's true.
[59:44] >> Yeah.
[59:45] >> So, yeah, it's it's difficult, but
[59:47] that's good work because you see
[59:48] yourself all the time. You just have to
[59:51] stop judging yourself. It feels like
[59:53] karmic payback in some way.
[59:55] >> It's not payback. It's it's an
[59:57] opportunity to serve. There's a big
[59:59] difference there. What a wonderful
[1:00:02] opportunity you have to love this being.
[1:00:04] Serve this being. Do what you can for
[1:00:06] him. Whereas he might not have any other
[1:00:08] place to turn in the world. You call
[1:00:10] that payback because you're angry
[1:00:12] because you're pissed off. You don't
[1:00:14] have more time for yourself. Too bad.
[1:00:18] Too bad. You have an opportunity to
[1:00:20] serve. You're just looking at us the
[1:00:22] wrong way. That's all. You don't have
[1:00:24] the right perspective.
[1:00:27] >> The the people who know me.
[1:00:31] >> Uh I'm not Don't talk to the judge. The
[1:00:34] judge is a judge. She knows the rules.
[1:00:36] >> No, just the opposite. The people who
[1:00:38] know me tell me what I'm a virtual saint
[1:00:41] for the stuff that I've been putting up
[1:00:42] with. Not just with this guy, but with
[1:00:44] his brother.
[1:00:45] >> Yeah. That's like my Jewish saint, my my
[1:00:47] great aunt, you know.
[1:00:47] >> Well, I Yeah. Well, it's not even that.
[1:00:49] Like I I complain a lot, but you know,
[1:00:52] >> but the thing is that I I
[1:00:54] >> But you can't stop your own mind.
[1:00:56] >> That's right.
[1:00:57] >> And you believe everything you think. So
[1:00:59] what are you going to do? If you don't
[1:01:01] get get with it, you'll keep suffering
[1:01:03] and the kid won't even have the best
[1:01:05] thing he could have out of you. You have
[1:01:08] to find that love inside of yourself.
[1:01:10] And you just have to let it go. You let
[1:01:12] your thoughts go. Let your emotions, you
[1:01:15] believe everything you think. and you're
[1:01:17] just lost in this longing for clarity
[1:01:19] which will never happen on the level
[1:01:21] you're looking at it. That's like what
[1:01:24] did I I just read it today. That's like
[1:01:27] standing at the edge of the ocean and
[1:01:29] and waiting until there's no waves to
[1:01:31] get into the water. There'll always be
[1:01:33] waves.
[1:01:35] You either have to jump in and find the
[1:01:38] way to live there or not. But there's no
[1:01:40] you can't wait until all of a sudden
[1:01:43] everything stops in this clarity.
[1:01:45] Clarity is in the moment. It it's it
[1:01:48] involve it it it unfolds everything. But
[1:01:52] you're looking at one little point and
[1:01:53] that one little point will never be
[1:01:55] still.
[1:01:56] But the stillness everything exists
[1:01:59] inside of that stillness. But you're
[1:02:02] focused on on the the the wrong thing,
[1:02:06] the the the the busyiness of it all.
[1:02:10] You're focused on the clouds instead of
[1:02:11] the space of the sky.
[1:02:14] I'm focused on the fact that I had to go
[1:02:16] through jump through hoops just to be
[1:02:18] able to come here for this weekend
[1:02:19] because nobody can take care of this kid
[1:02:21] while I'm gone,
[1:02:23] you know, and I was trying to get him to
[1:02:26] come, but you know, it didn't happen.
[1:02:27] >> Yeah, there's anger in your voice.
[1:02:30] >> Yeah. Well, yeah, I guess that's true. I
[1:02:32] guess that's true.
[1:02:33] >> Okay.
[1:02:33] >> Yeah.
[1:02:34] >> Good. Live with it.
[1:02:36] >> That's no help.
[1:02:38] >> Yes, it is.
[1:02:39] >> Really?
[1:02:40] I'm trying to live with it. That's my
[1:02:42] point. You have to let it go.
[1:02:45] >> It's a story. You're here. Be here.
[1:02:51] You have the chance. We always do. Every
[1:02:53] moment you have a chance.
[1:02:56] You We've been going through this for 12
[1:02:59] years now. You believe You believe
[1:03:02] everything you think.
[1:03:03] >> Yeah. You said that before before.
[1:03:05] >> Yeah.
[1:03:06] >> I haven't
[1:03:07] >> I'll say it for the next 12 if we live
[1:03:09] that long.
[1:03:10] >> I I clearly haven't. One time I I had
[1:03:12] this in my refrigerator once. You said
[1:03:14] your middle name should be thoughts
[1:03:15] arising.
[1:03:20] >> And you know that's
[1:03:22] >> but you're no different from anybody
[1:03:23] else. By the way, even though I'm
[1:03:25] teasing you, everybody in this room,
[1:03:28] everything we're saying applies to every
[1:03:30] single person in this room.
[1:03:33] >> So
[1:03:34] you're not you're not better or worse
[1:03:36] than anybody else, of course, and not
[1:03:38] different than anybody else. We all deal
[1:03:40] with these things. But as far as your
[1:03:44] life situation,
[1:03:48] yeah,
[1:03:52] we
[1:03:59] you can resist it. You can resist it.
[1:04:01] You can resist it. But on the other
[1:04:03] hand, you have an opportunity to serve
[1:04:05] another human being.
[1:04:08] you're just kind of looking at it the
[1:04:09] wrong way.
[1:04:11] And it's very hard to surrender into
[1:04:13] that because you have to give up your
[1:04:15] righteousness and your sense of right
[1:04:17] and wrong and and and the way we see
[1:04:20] ourselves and all that stuff. But
[1:04:23] there's a somebody who needs somebody
[1:04:25] and you're that that's who you are at
[1:04:27] this point, part of who you are. And
[1:04:29] you're fighting that and it's not only
[1:04:32] hurting you, it's hurting him because
[1:04:34] the vibe will change the minute you
[1:04:35] surrender into it. The vibe will change.
[1:04:38] He may not change that much in the
[1:04:41] moment, but the vibe will change. The
[1:04:43] feeling of how your interactions will
[1:04:45] change. There won't be that edge on
[1:04:47] everything, that that resistance and
[1:04:50] that anger underlying everything.
[1:04:53] >> Not that it's there all the time and not
[1:04:56] that you're different than anybody else.
[1:04:58] In fact, you're probably dealing with
[1:05:00] this better than most people would. Just
[1:05:02] the fact that you let the kid be there
[1:05:04] is amazing already. A lot of people I
[1:05:07] would just say, "Fuck off. I don't have
[1:05:08] anything to do with you.
[1:05:09] >> I feel so helpless." He's l literally
[1:05:11] twice my size.
[1:05:12] >> He what?
[1:05:13] >> He's literally twice my size and I feel
[1:05:16] really helpless.
[1:05:17] >> Yeah, but you're stronger than he is.
[1:05:18] He's just a kid.
[1:05:21] You can control the vibe. But but you
[1:05:23] have to wake up and you have to
[1:05:24] surrender into it and own it. You have
[1:05:27] to own the situation. This is not a
[1:05:30] mistake. There are no mistakes.
[1:05:34] There are no mistakes.
[1:05:37] Period. That's the absolute bottom line.
[1:05:40] Now, do I know that with every being in
[1:05:42] my my No, I don't know that. But anybody
[1:05:45] you ask who does know, that's what they
[1:05:47] say. There are no mistakes.
[1:05:52] And a little child that's abused or
[1:05:54] killed or shot, unfortunately, there are
[1:05:57] no mistakes.
[1:05:59] That's a karmic reality.
[1:06:02] It's a fruit of some action. It's not
[1:06:04] that they're bad. If we suffer, it
[1:06:06] doesn't mean we're bad. It just means
[1:06:08] we're paying a debt. And we're paying a
[1:06:11] debt.
[1:06:14] And it's good to pay the debts while you
[1:06:16] can because later on it gets harder to
[1:06:20] pay the debts.
[1:06:22] So when you pay a debt and you at ease
[1:06:26] with that what with the the burning
[1:06:29] that's involved in paying certain debts,
[1:06:32] you're freeing yourself from that karma.
[1:06:35] As long as that burning lasts, then
[1:06:37] you're free of that. You have that
[1:06:40] opportunity to be with it in a different
[1:06:42] way,
[1:06:44] which is wonderful opportunity. And we
[1:06:46] all have those opportunities in our
[1:06:47] lives. Most of us just [ __ ] and moan,
[1:06:50] get, you know, just pretend we don't
[1:06:53] have anything to say about it, that
[1:06:54] we're victims.
[1:06:57] That's that's a copout. Unfortunately,
[1:07:02] it may look like we're victims.
[1:07:04] But there's a deeper reality that's it
[1:07:06] that's underneath everything
[1:07:11] which is irrevocable.
[1:07:13] You cause suffering, you will suffer.
[1:07:18] You
[1:07:19] bring love and kindness to a situation,
[1:07:22] sooner or later that love and kindness
[1:07:24] will arrive in your life. It works that
[1:07:26] way. Everything is a seed we plant.
[1:07:30] So don't we want to feel good? If we
[1:07:33] want to feel good, we have to plant
[1:07:34] things seeds of that which will make us
[1:07:36] feel good.
[1:07:42] >> So,
[1:07:43] >> thank you.
[1:07:46] Good to see you.
[1:07:56] >> Hey.
[1:07:56] >> Hi. You mentioned chai in chat. uh my
[1:08:00] son who Oscar uh who was just sleeping
[1:08:02] here and got walked out. Uh he took his
[1:08:05] first steps. We were live with you. It
[1:08:08] was like your first Cheyen chat
[1:08:11] >> and we were tuning in from our at the
[1:08:13] time our apartment in Venice Beach and
[1:08:15] it was our turn to ask our question and
[1:08:17] our my question to you was like how do
[1:08:19] you have a sadna being a new parent? And
[1:08:23] before you could answer, Oscar took his
[1:08:25] first steps. And I was like, "Wait a
[1:08:27] second."
[1:08:28] >> And it was such a Yeah. So, um, and then
[1:08:31] your your response was, "You don't." And
[1:08:34] he's going to break your harmonium and
[1:08:35] all has come to fruition.
[1:08:40] >> But he loves Kan and he's a big fan of
[1:08:41] yours. So, we're glad to be here.
[1:08:43] >> That's great.
[1:08:44] >> Um, my question though for you is, how
[1:08:48] do you tell the difference between ego
[1:08:50] mind and intuition?
[1:08:52] the voice in your head or when you're
[1:08:54] seeking an answer, I'll go to my
[1:08:57] pendulum, the e-ching, my tarot deck,
[1:08:59] the I mean, you know, you name it.
[1:09:01] >> What's your mind going to those places?
[1:09:03] >> And then but the response is like, is
[1:09:04] that is that great spirit? Is that ego?
[1:09:07] I I just intuition versus ego mind. How
[1:09:11] do I know?
[1:09:13] >> When you do, you do.
[1:09:22] Unfortunately, that's actually it. You
[1:09:24] know, if you're thinking about it, then
[1:09:27] it's not intuition.
[1:09:30] Intuition just means inner knowing. It's
[1:09:33] a knowing. It's when you know something.
[1:09:36] Like, do you love your kid? Do you have
[1:09:39] to think about it?
[1:09:40] >> No.
[1:09:41] >> Then there's no question. And it's not
[1:09:44] it's not mind stuff.
[1:09:48] people. I think that's the one thing
[1:09:50] that is the most is really actually the
[1:09:55] whole spiritual path is learning how to
[1:09:57] trust oneself.
[1:10:00] You I'm not even going to call it
[1:10:02] intuition because that then there's then
[1:10:04] there's a label on it and you say, "Oh
[1:10:06] yeah, intuition's that." No, no, it's a
[1:10:09] knowing that's all. When you know you
[1:10:12] know you know
[1:10:14] like
[1:10:16] you know who you are.
[1:10:19] You don't nobody you're not confusing
[1:10:21] with the person next to you. You know
[1:10:22] who you are. You're you. Nobody has to
[1:10:25] tell you. You don't have to think about
[1:10:26] it. It's a gut knowing.
[1:10:31] But we're not in touch with that most of
[1:10:33] the time. We're too busy. We move too
[1:10:35] fast. We're we like this. We don't like
[1:10:37] this. We're stuck in in all that stuff
[1:10:39] all the time.
[1:10:41] But
[1:10:43] love lives in that place, in the knowing
[1:10:45] place. Real love, the love that doesn't
[1:10:49] come and go. The love you don't fall in
[1:10:51] or fall out of. Love you don't receive
[1:10:55] from other people or not receive from
[1:10:57] other people. That's not real love. Real
[1:10:59] love is who we are. And that's why it's
[1:11:02] so important to learn how to trust one's
[1:11:05] self, one's knowing. And sometimes you
[1:11:09] just have to really stop and talk
[1:11:12] yourself down. Okay, what is this? You
[1:11:15] know, what do I want to do? Do I really
[1:11:18] want that? Well, no.
[1:11:20] But but then that's different than
[1:11:23] acting on something. You know, sometimes
[1:11:25] it's very difficult to act on what you
[1:11:29] know is really the best is what you want
[1:11:32] for instance because there are other
[1:11:34] people involved, there's life situations
[1:11:36] involved. That's what we call
[1:11:40] relationships.
[1:11:42] Totally [ __ ]
[1:11:45] because then you have to think about
[1:11:46] other people. What do they want? And
[1:11:48] especially most people are not locked
[1:11:50] into their own real knowing. So they're
[1:11:53] very difficult to deal with. They want
[1:11:54] this now. They don't want that now. They
[1:11:56] want this. That's life, you know. But
[1:11:59] that's not this. This you can have
[1:12:01] always regardless of what's going on out
[1:12:04] there. Regardless of what people are
[1:12:06] doing or not doing, giving or not
[1:12:08] giving, being or not being, we can have
[1:12:12] we have our hearts. We're just
[1:12:15] not looking in the right place yet. Or
[1:12:19] let's say we're not looking the right
[1:12:20] way yet. We're not feeling it the right
[1:12:23] way yet. That's something that we can
[1:12:26] develop that is developed as we
[1:12:31] as we get used to not believing
[1:12:35] everything we think
[1:12:38] or feel emotionally.
[1:12:40] But we don't even know we're doing that
[1:12:42] until you start to calm down. Once you
[1:12:45] start to calm down a little bit, you
[1:12:48] notice when you're getting pulled out of
[1:12:50] that place of being.
[1:12:52] Most of us spend all our time out of not
[1:12:55] being, not in being, not in the love,
[1:12:58] not in that presence.
[1:13:01] I shouldn't use the word love because
[1:13:03] there's too many images with that word.
[1:13:06] Let's just say being and presence.
[1:13:09] Most of the time, we're not aware of
[1:13:11] that. But it's always here because we're
[1:13:13] always here.
[1:13:15] And no matter where you go, if you say,
[1:13:18] "Where am I?" You're going to the answer
[1:13:20] is here.
[1:13:21] You could be in a plane, you'll be here.
[1:13:24] You can be here and you'll be here. You
[1:13:25] can be in Los Angeles and you'll be
[1:13:27] here. And that's something that
[1:13:33] most of the time right now is just a
[1:13:34] word.
[1:13:36] But and because when we're chanting or
[1:13:39] we notice we're we've been thinking, so
[1:13:41] we come back to the sound, but then
[1:13:43] we're gone again. We're hardly here for
[1:13:45] a second. But every time we come back,
[1:13:49] it gets a little deeper.
[1:13:51] a little
[1:13:53] takes a million million times coming
[1:13:55] back until we can really feel what it
[1:13:58] really means to be here and to to feel
[1:14:01] good about ourselves to be present and
[1:14:04] to be at ease with ourselves and with
[1:14:08] other people. And how are you how can
[1:14:11] you be at ease with other people when
[1:14:12] you don't want them to be somebody else?
[1:14:14] When you don't need them to be other
[1:14:16] than who they are. Then everybody's at
[1:14:18] ease except them.
[1:14:22] They can be crazy. Who gives a [ __ ] As
[1:14:24] long as I'm at ease with who you are,
[1:14:26] you're fine. I'm fine.
[1:14:29] And that's that's not easy to do. We're
[1:14:32] not. That's not easy to do because we're
[1:14:35] in reaction mode all the time. We're
[1:14:37] like ping pong balls back and forth,
[1:14:39] back and forth all lifelong. We never
[1:14:41] get a break. We have And nobody's going
[1:14:44] to give us a break either, by the way.
[1:14:47] We have to get find a break ourselves
[1:14:50] which
[1:14:52] is why we're here
[1:14:54] basically
[1:14:57] how to give ourselves a break
[1:15:01] right now. We're not out there creating
[1:15:03] many negative karmas. We're not robbing
[1:15:05] banks.
[1:15:07] We're not doing all kinds of things
[1:15:08] right now. And that's good.
[1:15:11] But
[1:15:13] we also can go deeper.
[1:15:16] But it takes a little bit of regular
[1:15:19] practice every day. Unfortunately, every
[1:15:22] day,
[1:15:24] even if it's three minutes, I mean, I'm
[1:15:26] not exaggerating. Three minutes. If you
[1:15:29] stop, turn the phone off for three
[1:15:32] minutes.
[1:15:34] Believe me, if the house is burning
[1:15:35] down, you'll know without your phone.
[1:15:40] Nobody has to call you and tell you the
[1:15:41] house is burning down if you're sitting
[1:15:43] in it.
[1:15:45] You put the phone down, just give
[1:15:47] yourself three minutes. Don't try Don't
[1:15:50] try to do anything in that three
[1:15:51] minutes. That would be wrong. Just be
[1:15:53] there.
[1:15:55] You nothing will happen. I guarantee
[1:15:57] you. Then get up and be stupid the rest
[1:15:59] of the day. And then the next day, three
[1:16:02] minutes, we have to develop. Right now,
[1:16:05] we're ruled by our habits. And our
[1:16:07] habits are not allowing us to feel
[1:16:10] anything deep.
[1:16:12] We get a little bit of emotion, a little
[1:16:14] bit of quietness once in a while, but
[1:16:17] basically we're hardly here in the whole
[1:16:19] lifetime. So, we have to develop new
[1:16:22] habits. And the only way to do that is
[1:16:25] to do something every day. Three
[1:16:28] minutes. That's all. Two minutes. Just
[1:16:30] stop.
[1:16:32] Okay. Now, go.
[1:16:35] You'll get as time goes on, you'll get
[1:16:37] used to being here a little bit. And
[1:16:39] it's a very amazing feeling. But nobody
[1:16:42] can give it to you. We you have we have
[1:16:45] to do that ourselves.
[1:16:48] That's the good news and the bad news.
[1:16:51] Nobody can do it for us.
[1:16:55] But nobody has to do it for us because
[1:16:57] we can do it.
[1:17:00] We just have to do it. How hard could
[1:17:02] that be? Very hard.
[1:17:08] But not impossible.
[1:17:12] Yeah, over here. Where's the mic?
[1:17:14] >> Oh, I've got it.
[1:17:15] >> Who's got it? Oh, you got it. Hi.
[1:17:17] >> Oh, there it is.
[1:17:18] >> Hi there. Um, I have a question. I I My
[1:17:20] parents are actually kind of similar to
[1:17:22] you. They're New York Jews who got into
[1:17:24] very spiritual
[1:17:25] >> My parents were about as Jewish as the
[1:17:27] Pope.
[1:17:27] >> Yeah. No, but my parents uh, you know,
[1:17:30] raised me with meditation and yoga. I
[1:17:31] grew up in a community where everyone
[1:17:33] practiced transcendental meditation and
[1:17:34] we learned.
[1:17:35] >> Sorry to hear that.
[1:17:36] >> So, yeah. Well, that's it was it was
[1:17:38] wonderful. But my question is, so I have
[1:17:40] children now myself who are 13 and 11
[1:17:42] and I was raised so immersed in all this
[1:17:44] and for me most of it stuck. I
[1:17:46] definitely rebelled in my own ways and
[1:17:49] some of my friends really rebelled. And
[1:17:51] now that I find myself just raising kids
[1:17:52] in Washington DC, you know, I I I don't
[1:17:55] want to air too much in the other
[1:17:56] direction where I'm not like so much not
[1:17:59] wanting to push spiritual stuff on them
[1:18:00] that I barely even talk about it. You
[1:18:02] know, my dad will meditate a few minutes
[1:18:04] just like you said with them in the
[1:18:05] mornings. They live near us. But I'm
[1:18:07] just curious since I know you raised a
[1:18:09] daughter like as someone who was so so
[1:18:11] fullon in the 70s and then you had a kid
[1:18:13] of your own. Do you have any advice for
[1:18:14] parents about what the right way is to
[1:18:16] transmit this to the next generation?
[1:18:18] >> You have to ask my daughter.
[1:18:22] Um
[1:18:26] if they know that you love them, that
[1:18:29] will give them the strength to find
[1:18:31] their own love. That's you can't make
[1:18:33] them do anything. But if you if they
[1:18:36] know that you love them,
[1:18:39] if they feel that no matter what they
[1:18:41] do,
[1:18:42] then they'll know where it is as they
[1:18:45] get older.
[1:18:47] The problem is
[1:18:49] most of us didn't grow up with that
[1:18:52] feeling, you know, in the house. even if
[1:18:56] you're meditating and doing all the
[1:18:58] so-called right stuff.
[1:19:01] So we we're still looking for it, you
[1:19:03] know. And then of course that's what I
[1:19:06] found with Maharaji,
[1:19:09] real love, you know. I couldn't believe
[1:19:11] it, you know. I couldn't even do
[1:19:14] anything to turn it off, which was
[1:19:15] extraordinary.
[1:19:17] And so finally I learned how to trust it
[1:19:20] a little bit.
[1:19:22] But that's the thing really, isn't it?
[1:19:24] Well, if people don't have the sort of
[1:19:26] pain and the void to begin with, is
[1:19:28] there a chance they'll be less spiritual
[1:19:29] and then the whole thing kind of dies
[1:19:31] out in one generation?
[1:19:32] >> If say that again.
[1:19:33] >> Well, you know, so I feel like talking
[1:19:34] to my parents and people of your
[1:19:36] generation, there was a lot of pain and
[1:19:38] a lot of lack and a lot of yearning for
[1:19:40] something like you found with Maharaji.
[1:19:41] But what if people have love, then will
[1:19:43] they be less spiritually inclined
[1:19:45] because they pretty much feel okay?
[1:19:47] >> Don't worry, there's enough suffering
[1:19:48] for everybody.
[1:19:50] >> Thanks. Great.
[1:19:55] There's no no lack of suffering. Don't
[1:19:58] trust it.
[1:20:00] >> Thank you.
[1:20:01] >> You're welcome.
[1:20:16] Yeah. It's really hard to trust to learn
[1:20:18] how to trust.
[1:20:21] I don't know if you ever really learn
[1:20:22] how to trust.
[1:20:25] I think
[1:20:27] at some point something happens and
[1:20:31] you find there is something that you do
[1:20:33] trust.
[1:20:35] And when you have that, you have
[1:20:41] when you have that
[1:20:46] the tree is already cut. is just waiting
[1:20:48] for the wind to come blow it over.
[1:20:52] But we don't trust we we don't have that
[1:20:54] kind of trust.
[1:20:56] We don't trust ourselves to do the right
[1:20:58] things. We don't trust ourselves to be
[1:21:01] worthy of love. We don't trust
[1:21:03] ourselves.
[1:21:05] We are afraid of our minds. We don't
[1:21:08] know how to be alone. Keep filling up
[1:21:10] the minutes with [ __ ] all day long.
[1:21:15] All day long.
[1:21:17] You know, you get notifications every 3
[1:21:19] seconds, every time somebody murders
[1:21:21] somebody. Oh, another how do you expect
[1:21:24] to calm down if we know?
[1:21:27] We have to learn how to trust ourselves.
[1:21:29] We're afraid to be alone. We don't know
[1:21:31] how to be alone. That when we are alone,
[1:21:33] we fill it up with [ __ ] We don't
[1:21:35] let our minds calm down.
[1:21:39] What to do? That's who we are. So, let's
[1:21:43] do something about that. But we can only
[1:21:45] only we can do B. We have to notice that
[1:21:48] first though. You see if you don't
[1:21:50] notice it, you can't do anything about
[1:21:52] it. That's why I'm being such an
[1:21:54] [ __ ]
[1:21:57] If we don't notice it, we'll never
[1:22:00] change it.
[1:22:08] Somebody over there. Yeah, you can pass
[1:22:11] it. I don't know.
[1:22:19] Hi. You were talking about being at the
[1:22:21] edge of the water and the waves coming.
[1:22:23] I feel like I'm in this period where a
[1:22:25] tsunami is coming
[1:22:28] >> and I relating to this.
[1:22:30] >> Do you know how to jump?
[1:22:32] >> I've been jumping.
[1:22:35] Um, but I can relate to the theme of the
[1:22:37] teenagers. I have a 15-year-old boy and
[1:22:39] a 13-year-old girl. And I think
[1:22:43] That's been a process because I've been
[1:22:45] with them growing, watching them kind of
[1:22:48] landslide into all kinds of interesting
[1:22:50] situations.
[1:22:52] But what's really got me going right now
[1:22:55] is I'm a caretaker for my mom who's just
[1:23:01] turned 80 and she is rapidly slipping
[1:23:04] into dementia. And so it's this
[1:23:07] situation where
[1:23:09] this is brand new to me. The children
[1:23:12] had the opportunity to grow with, but
[1:23:14] this whole like new person who
[1:23:19] doesn't seem like my mom anymore. Like I
[1:23:21] don't know how to do this.
[1:23:23] >> Yeah. My dad My dad had Alzheimer's.
[1:23:25] Yeah.
[1:23:25] >> Okay.
[1:23:27] So, I'm just
[1:23:28] >> just turn on the television to to uh
[1:23:31] Seinfeld
[1:23:34] and just it's on repeat all day long.
[1:23:37] That's all. It's new every time. Every
[1:23:40] every episode is new for them.
[1:23:44] Yeah. My dad, he used to watch the same
[1:23:46] episodes as Seinfeld over and over and
[1:23:48] over and over and over.
[1:23:50] But um
[1:23:53] the nice thing about dementia and
[1:23:55] Alzheimer's is that they're not
[1:23:58] suffering.
[1:24:00] We're suffering.
[1:24:02] That's okay.
[1:24:04] We'll take it.
[1:24:06] Right.
[1:24:08] That's good.
[1:24:15] One time my sister visited my father in
[1:24:17] a assisted living place where he was the
[1:24:19] last year of his life and she played
[1:24:22] this video of me singing
[1:24:24] and my father looked at her at one point
[1:24:27] and he goes, "Tell KD I'm singing with
[1:24:31] him in my mind."
[1:24:36] Every time I would go away on tour, I
[1:24:38] would go stop to say hello to him and
[1:24:40] because I didn't know if he'd recognized
[1:24:41] me when I came back.
[1:24:44] So
[1:24:47] yeah, the hard part for people with
[1:24:50] Alzheimer's and dementia is when they're
[1:24:52] just getting into it. I remember being
[1:24:55] in a taxi in the city with my father and
[1:24:58] we had just made plans for the next day,
[1:25:00] right, to meet the next day. So as he's
[1:25:02] getting out of the cab, I said, "Okay,
[1:25:03] D, I'll see you too." Okay. and the
[1:25:06] panic in his eyes when he realized he
[1:25:08] didn't know what I was talking about.
[1:25:11] That was that hurt. But it's it goes
[1:25:15] really quick, you know, really quick.
[1:25:18] And then they're gone even though
[1:25:21] they're here
[1:25:23] for as long as they last.
[1:26:06] Yeah.
[1:26:11] Oh, somebody else had no
[1:26:19] >> um to Hi, love you. Think you're
[1:26:21] hilarious. Thank you for that. Um
[1:26:24] Uh except everything that just happened.
[1:26:27] Um necess but necessary. Yes, I know. Um
[1:26:31] so in honor of Maharaji and you I
[1:26:34] actually found out about you through
[1:26:35] Ramdas and I never had the opportunity
[1:26:38] to
[1:26:38] >> after he was dead.
[1:26:40] >> Yeah. After after he had passed in his
[1:26:42] form. Um so I was just curious just to f
[1:26:46] around and find out uh what might be
[1:26:49] with this preceding question. And I'm
[1:26:50] sure there's many something memorable
[1:26:52] like something that you'll remember
[1:26:53] forever about a time that you had with
[1:26:55] Ram Das. Um whether it was like with
[1:26:57] Maharaji or just something like really
[1:26:59] impactful that you'll never forget
[1:27:02] [Laughter]
[1:27:04] >> again. I'm sure there's many
[1:27:31] Randas and I knew each other for over 50
[1:27:33] years. I met him in the winter of 68 69.
[1:27:39] When I walked into the room where he was
[1:27:41] sitting, I had heard about him from some
[1:27:44] friends
[1:27:45] just that there was this guy. So I went
[1:27:47] up to see him
[1:27:50] and when I walked into the room where he
[1:27:51] was sitting uh without a word being
[1:27:54] spoken,
[1:27:56] he was sitting uh in the corner of the
[1:27:58] room leaning up against the wall, you
[1:28:01] know, on the floor sitting quietly. I
[1:28:04] walked into that room. As I walked into
[1:28:07] that room, I knew I was struck and I
[1:28:11] knew that whatever it was I was looking
[1:28:13] for
[1:28:15] was real.
[1:28:17] and it was in the world and you could
[1:28:20] find it.
[1:28:22] That was just one second, one split
[1:28:24] second and that was the beginning really
[1:28:26] of the rest of my life. I was already
[1:28:30] doing uh you know yoga and meditating,
[1:28:34] pretending to meditate of course
[1:28:37] and uh but that was um that was the
[1:28:42] first real thing I experienced.
[1:28:47] And that was really big.
[1:28:49] And then of course I thought it was him.
[1:28:52] And then that started a whole series of
[1:29:01] relationship issues.
[1:29:05] because he was he at that time in his
[1:29:08] life he was
[1:29:11] he was in he he was still in a position
[1:29:14] where he could enjoy the the attention
[1:29:17] even though he knew it was all coming
[1:29:19] from Maharaji he still would en enjoy
[1:29:21] the attention but over years that
[1:29:24] changed you know because he could be
[1:29:27] such an [ __ ] Oh my god. Hard to
[1:29:30] believe the thing. We used to fight, you
[1:29:33] know, and really the first few years
[1:29:37] before his stroke, we hardly saw each
[1:29:38] other.
[1:29:40] And then I went to see him after the
[1:29:43] stroke and we had such a great time
[1:29:44] together and we became really really
[1:29:46] close after that.
[1:29:50] You know, it's hard for us
[1:29:54] westerners. We we we don't have
[1:29:58] saints in our lives, you know. We don't
[1:30:01] grow up with saints. We grow up with Roy
[1:30:03] Rogers. Well, you don't grow up with Roy
[1:30:05] Rogers. I grew up with Roy Rogers and
[1:30:08] Hop Along Cassidy, you know, but um we
[1:30:12] grew up with TV and all kinds of stuff
[1:30:14] like that.
[1:30:16] But really Randas was he became he
[1:30:19] really I mean we talked about surrender
[1:30:24] before, right? So, here's a guy who was
[1:30:28] all over the world giving lectures to
[1:30:30] thousands of people. Uh, pretty much one
[1:30:33] of the forerunners of the psychedelic
[1:30:35] movement and the spiritual movement and
[1:30:39] all this. And now he's in a wheelchair
[1:30:40] and he can't wipe his own ass.
[1:30:43] And he can't feed himself and he can't
[1:30:46] turn himself in bed and he can't do
[1:30:48] anything for himself.
[1:30:53] He can't even speak. This guy who gave
[1:30:56] lectures for hours and hours and hours,
[1:30:58] he can't even speak hardly.
[1:31:01] So that might destroy somebody. It would
[1:31:05] I I stubb my toe in the morning and the
[1:31:07] next week is ruined.
[1:31:10] But he was he actually
[1:31:14] he he
[1:31:17] he
[1:31:19] he
[1:31:26] won.
[1:31:28] He overcame all of that
[1:31:32] by accepting it fully,
[1:31:35] by surrendering to it and allowing
[1:31:38] people to serve him. He hated that when
[1:31:41] people did that and now he couldn't do
[1:31:43] anything for himself but he sat there
[1:31:46] and he let people take care of him and
[1:31:49] he wasn't angry.
[1:31:52] Another person in the same situation
[1:31:54] could be destroyed by that. Their whole
[1:31:57] lives taken away from them. you know, no
[1:32:00] more sports cars, no more flying planes,
[1:32:02] no more golf,
[1:32:05] no more lectures at first.
[1:32:08] But he overcame that and he really and
[1:32:12] there was no time off.
[1:32:14] You know, we get a little cold. We know
[1:32:17] it's bad. We feel bad, but we know in a
[1:32:19] few days we'll be back. There was no
[1:32:21] time off. He had neuropathy from
[1:32:24] diabetes. He had hip replacement. He had
[1:32:29] uh
[1:32:32] pain everywhere in his body
[1:32:35] and he never complained. It was amazing.
[1:32:38] Really extraordinary.
[1:32:41] But you know, he had a mind too. One
[1:32:43] time we were
[1:32:46] they used to go to the beach on Monday
[1:32:47] morning and he would get in get these
[1:32:49] floats on and he'd go in the water and
[1:32:51] he'd be free of the weight of his own
[1:32:53] body. You know, it was really big thing
[1:32:55] for him. He loved it. So, I used to
[1:32:58] catch up with them later in the day
[1:33:00] because I don't get up that early.
[1:33:03] So, one day I got there and I'm on my
[1:33:06] way to the beach and I see that he's
[1:33:08] sitting in a car in the corner of the
[1:33:10] parking lot. So, I walk over to him. The
[1:33:13] door, the passenger door is open and
[1:33:15] he's just sitting there like
[1:33:19] So, I walk up and I stand there.
[1:33:22] He looks at me
[1:33:24] and he says, "I'm a fake
[1:33:29] and you're a fake, too."
[1:33:32] So I looked at him and I said, "Yeah,
[1:33:36] but we're real fakes." He almost fell
[1:33:40] out of the car laughing. It was like
[1:33:44] We had some We We really had some fun,
[1:33:46] I'll tell you.
[1:33:49] So,
[1:33:51] but really he he he overcame all that
[1:33:54] stuff and he was so you know back in the
[1:33:58] old days
[1:33:59] 71 we were in the temple with Maharaji
[1:34:05] one day Maharaji looks at him and says
[1:34:07] Ramdas you're a saint you shouldn't
[1:34:09] touch money so he gave his money to this
[1:34:12] other guy his bag man right the whole
[1:34:14] money
[1:34:16] and he you shouldn't drive the car give
[1:34:18] him the keys. I got the keys. In fact,
[1:34:21] my name for about a year was driver.
[1:34:24] Everybody else had Indian names. Driver,
[1:34:27] that was my name.
[1:34:29] So,
[1:34:31] so no, he no longer could drive the
[1:34:32] Volkswagen bus. So, he had to take the
[1:34:34] local bus to temple. And he couldn't buy
[1:34:37] his own ticket. Somebody had to buy a
[1:34:38] ticket for him, the guy with his money.
[1:34:40] So, he wakes up one day and all the
[1:34:43] other westerners had left already for
[1:34:44] Kenchi. And he had no money. He couldn't
[1:34:48] buy a ticket on the bus. He had to walk
[1:34:50] over the mountains to the temple. And he
[1:34:53] was pissed. Oh, he was so he was just
[1:34:56] the whole way he was like raging.
[1:34:59] It's about a 4-hour walk.
[1:35:02] He get walks into the courtyard of the
[1:35:04] temple and all the westerners are on one
[1:35:06] side of the courtyard. Maharaji was
[1:35:07] having us fed, right? So he walks into
[1:35:10] the temple and the guy he hated the most
[1:35:13] in the group, I won't tell you who he
[1:35:15] was. It wasn't me. I was I didn't have
[1:35:17] that honor.
[1:35:20] That particular guy gets up and hands
[1:35:23] Ramdas a plate of food and Maharaji
[1:35:26] sitting right there on the Ramdas takes
[1:35:28] the food and throws it in the guy's
[1:35:31] face.
[1:35:32] Maharaji goes Ramdas something wrong
[1:35:38] come here. This means come in India and
[1:35:42] this means go. It's different backwards.
[1:35:45] So Ramdas comes and sit down. He says
[1:35:47] what's wrong? Ramdas says I can't stand
[1:35:51] impurities in other people or in myself.
[1:35:55] So Maharaji looks him up and down.
[1:35:59] He says I don't see any impurities.
[1:36:03] Ramdas starts to cry. Maharaj says
[1:36:06] Ramdas love everyone and tell the truth.
[1:36:10] Ramda said, "The truth is I don't love
[1:36:13] everyone."
[1:36:22] I heard you said, "Rambas, love everyone
[1:36:26] and tell the truth." Sorry, I'm just
[1:36:30] So, he comes across the courtyard and he
[1:36:32] puts a sweet in everybody's mouth and
[1:36:34] everything, but it took close to 50
[1:36:39] years,
[1:36:40] but by the end of his life, the truth
[1:36:43] was he lived in love and everyone was in
[1:36:48] that love. It was so beautiful. It was
[1:36:52] so it could be a pain in the ass, but it
[1:36:53] was so beautiful really to be with
[1:36:57] somebody especially a westerner you know
[1:37:00] who really was in that love
[1:37:03] and
[1:37:05] I think somewhere on YouTube Jackie
[1:37:08] where is that thing where Ramdas waving
[1:37:10] to everybody at the last
[1:37:15] last daran of Ramdas you check it out
[1:37:17] sometime on YouTube he's waving goodbye
[1:37:20] the last the last retreat we did
[1:37:22] together with him on Maui.
[1:37:24] He died within two weeks of that. I
[1:37:26] think maybe a little less actually. Uh
[1:37:31] as he's leaving, he's just waving to
[1:37:33] everybody. It's the sweetest thing
[1:37:35] you'll ever see. It is so beautiful.
[1:37:38] Really, he did it. He did it. He lived
[1:37:41] in that love. It was extraordinary.
[1:37:43] Really and palpable. You could feel it.
[1:37:47] It was It was
[1:37:50] It was a blessing to to really be
[1:37:52] around. The only thing is you would
[1:37:54] never listen to him about relationships.
[1:37:58] Anything you said, you did the opposite.
[1:38:01] Absolutely. No doubt about that.
[1:38:06] But yeah, it was it was so beautiful
[1:38:09] that by the end he was really he did it.
[1:38:12] He he he he did it. He was living in
[1:38:15] that love and everyone was in it.
[1:38:19] There was nobody outside of it. Very
[1:38:21] beautiful.
[1:38:24] That's where we want to be, by the way,
[1:38:26] in case you That's where we want to be.
[1:38:30] But how how do we get there? Well, we're
[1:38:32] doing what we can. We're doing what we
[1:38:35] can.
[1:38:42] Yeah. Over here.
[1:38:47] Yeah, raise your hand so she can see
[1:38:49] you. Give her five rupees.
[1:38:55] >> So, how did you know Maharaji was the
[1:38:58] real thing?
[1:39:00] >> How do I know? You're asking me the
[1:39:01] question.
[1:39:03] Same way.
[1:39:05] You just know.
[1:39:07] And I got lucky. He was is
[1:39:13] because, you know, we're very needy. We
[1:39:15] westerners. Anybody who pets us on the
[1:39:17] head and tells us we're good little boys
[1:39:19] and girls, we'll give them anything,
[1:39:22] especially our own ideas of right and
[1:39:24] wrong. And that's called a cult.
[1:39:28] Luckily, that wasn't Maharaji. He never
[1:39:31] wanted any. He never took anything from
[1:39:33] us. He never insisted we we all wear the
[1:39:36] same clothes. He didn't even expect us
[1:39:38] to like each other. He knew how we were.
[1:39:41] We, some of us hate it. We hate, you
[1:39:43] know, the western we, you know, and if
[1:39:45] somebody got in between me and his feet,
[1:39:47] forget it. I'd kill him. Get out of the
[1:39:49] way.
[1:39:51] So,
[1:39:52] but he he let us in the room where love
[1:39:56] lives, you know, and we didn't have to
[1:39:58] do anything. We didn't have to change.
[1:40:00] We didn't have to behave. We didn't have
[1:40:03] to be good.
[1:40:05] He We were just in that love.
[1:40:09] So,
[1:40:12] present tense, not past tense.
[1:40:20] But for me actually, you know, a lot of
[1:40:22] it was seeing Ramdas, seeing Maharaji
[1:40:24] through Ramdas's eyes at first
[1:40:27] because Ramdas had very powerful faith
[1:40:30] in Maharaji and a deep connection
[1:40:34] and I at first that's what fed me.
[1:40:40] Now Ramdas also used to keep a distance
[1:40:42] from Maharaji like he would sit at the
[1:40:45] other side of the courtyard. So we all
[1:40:48] the westerners would sit on the other
[1:40:50] side of the courtyard
[1:40:52] and then after a year I'd been there a
[1:40:56] year and a half Ramas came about 6
[1:40:58] months after I'd been there three months
[1:41:00] after I'd been there and then he left
[1:41:01] early. So then one day I was there
[1:41:05] and I'm sitting on the other side of the
[1:41:07] courtyard where we always sat and
[1:41:10] Maharaji's over there
[1:41:13] and I kind of looked around and I
[1:41:16] thought, why am I sitting here? He's
[1:41:19] over there. So I got up and kind of
[1:41:23] slowly kind of
[1:41:27] walked across the courtyard and
[1:41:30] sat down, you know, right kind of in
[1:41:33] front of him and he didn't say anything.
[1:41:36] And that was the beginning of me
[1:41:39] developing my own relationship with him.
[1:41:42] Everything shifted. I was no longer
[1:41:47] seeing him in a certain kind of way
[1:41:49] through Randas's eyes. I was I was
[1:41:52] getting my own stupid version of that.
[1:41:57] That was a big moment actually.
[1:42:04] Yeah.
[1:42:09] So, and when I got the keys to the car,
[1:42:14] I said I I had the desire to drive
[1:42:17] Maharaji someday, right? I never said it
[1:42:20] to anybody, but in my mind, I never
[1:42:23] those keys were never more than six
[1:42:25] inches away from me. When I slept, they
[1:42:28] were under my pillow. When I went out,
[1:42:31] they were in my bag. I they I always had
[1:42:33] the keys. And I I dreamed that someday I
[1:42:38] would drive them in in the car. And one
[1:42:40] day we were in Alahabad at Dada's house
[1:42:44] and um
[1:42:46] sitting there and I think we were
[1:42:48] chanting we were Maharaji looks at me
[1:42:51] and he goes got the keys.
[1:42:54] Yep. He said let's go. Yeah.
[1:42:59] So we went out to the car. Dada was
[1:43:01] walking with Maharaji. Dada was in one
[1:43:04] of his great old devotees.
[1:43:06] And
[1:43:08] you know the Maharaji is very short. He
[1:43:11] was and the Volkswagen bus the seats
[1:43:14] high right. So
[1:43:18] D opened the door for Maharaji and
[1:43:20] holding Maharaji and Maharaji throws
[1:43:22] himself up into the seat and he bashed
[1:43:25] his head on the door on the the top of
[1:43:28] the
[1:43:29] and I just almost peed in my pants. I
[1:43:32] could not believe it. I said, "Dada, did
[1:43:34] you see that?" And he looked at me he
[1:43:36] said he did it on purpose just drive.
[1:43:40] That is a devotey.
[1:43:44] From Dada's point of view everything
[1:43:47] Maharaji does is on purpose.
[1:43:50] So here's the story. So two days later
[1:43:54] we were sent away to do this yatra this
[1:43:56] pilgrimage with Swami Muktananda in
[1:43:58] South India. Ramdas had promised
[1:44:01] Mktananda that we would go and Maharaji
[1:44:04] said you promised you have to go so we
[1:44:07] had to go. We didn't want to go but we
[1:44:09] had to go. So I was driving and we came
[1:44:12] around this big curve. It's just outside
[1:44:16] of Lahabad and the river was there and I
[1:44:21] was and I I went into that curve too
[1:44:23] fast and the car was sliding across the
[1:44:27] road and we were going right into the
[1:44:29] river when all of a sudden
[1:44:34] a huge wind came and it blew the car 20
[1:44:38] feet over.
[1:44:40] That's why he banged his head on the
[1:44:42] car.
[1:44:44] He saved us.
[1:44:46] He had no He didn't need me to drive. By
[1:44:48] the way, in the car,
[1:44:51] he was like, "Watch out. Watch out.
[1:44:53] There's people coming over there. Go
[1:44:54] slow. You're going too fast." The whole
[1:44:57] way to the sa I like three minutes in
[1:44:59] the car.
[1:45:02] We stopped. I turned it off. He said,
[1:45:04] "Okay, let's go back." And the whole way
[1:45:06] back.
[1:45:08] I was like, "What's going on here?" It
[1:45:11] was all about that that what was going
[1:45:13] to happen two days later.
[1:45:17] You know what are you going to do with
[1:45:18] somebody like that who knows everything
[1:45:22] and he's just dedicated to helping you
[1:45:24] and freeing you from whatever has to be
[1:45:27] freed.
[1:45:31] >> Yeah. Something
[1:45:34] whatever
[1:45:37] >> will you tell this story? Um,
[1:45:41] Sidima asked Ja to tell you a story
[1:45:44] about a fakir on a train with Javant.
[1:45:48] Would you tell that story?
[1:45:49] >> Yeah. Yeah. So, in in 1995, I went to
[1:45:53] the temple. Well, I'll tell you the
[1:45:55] short version.
[1:45:57] But I was having a really hard time. I
[1:46:00] had started singing with people, but I
[1:46:02] had quit.
[1:46:04] And uh I started singing with people in
[1:46:06] 94.
[1:46:07] And in uh the spring of 95 I quit.
[1:46:13] And um long story but anyhow so I was in
[1:46:17] the temple and I asked to speak to
[1:46:20] Sidima.
[1:46:21] Sidda was Maharaji's great disciple and
[1:46:24] she was there for maybe 30 years
[1:46:28] more than that right he left in 73 she
[1:46:31] left in 2018. So that's what 35 years.
[1:46:34] She took care of the temples and all the
[1:46:36] devotees and she was so kind to the
[1:46:38] westerners. It was really wonderful.
[1:46:42] She's a great saint.
[1:46:46] Anyhow, so I asked to talk to her and I
[1:46:50] I said, you know, mom, I'm having a very
[1:46:52] hard time. And so she told her disciple
[1:46:55] Maharaj disciple Ja
[1:46:58] to tell this tell me this story. And
[1:47:01] there's a book about Sydney Ma written
[1:47:02] by JS very beautiful book and I I
[1:47:05] recommend it if you want to read it.
[1:47:06] It's beautiful wonderful book.
[1:47:10] So the story goes that um
[1:47:15] she was up Siddima
[1:47:18] another lady named Jivvantima who was
[1:47:20] also very close with Maharaji were up in
[1:47:23] Rishiesh
[1:47:25] and they had plans to go down to Chennai
[1:47:28] from Delhi on a train and they had 40
[1:47:32] reservations for all the devotees to go
[1:47:34] together on this train
[1:47:37] and uh Jivvantima was always having
[1:47:39] these heart attacks, little heart
[1:47:41] attacks, big little medium-sized heart
[1:47:43] attacks. And um so the day before they
[1:47:48] were supposed to get in the car and
[1:47:50] drive to Delhi to catch the train, she
[1:47:53] had a heart attack and she was hardly
[1:47:56] able to breathe. She was okay. I mean,
[1:47:59] it wasn't a major heart attack, but it
[1:48:00] was definitely something. And so they
[1:48:03] helped her get in the car and they drove
[1:48:05] all the way to Delhi.
[1:48:07] And then in the old Delhi train station
[1:48:09] they there these they can carry you
[1:48:12] underneath the tracks up into the to the
[1:48:15] train. So she was carried in a dandi
[1:48:18] under the tracks a dandi like a
[1:48:20] palenquin you know uh and then helped
[1:48:24] into her uh
[1:48:26] her birth on the train
[1:48:29] and then the train takes off in the
[1:48:31] middle of the night. Sidima gets up and
[1:48:33] has to use the bathroom.
[1:48:35] First she and Ja walk to one side of the
[1:48:39] train car, one end of the car, and they
[1:48:42] the bathrooms were very dirty. So they
[1:48:44] turned around and went to the other side
[1:48:46] of the car.
[1:48:48] And as they turned the corner,
[1:48:52] right in front of them is the doorway to
[1:48:54] the outside. And then if you go left,
[1:48:57] there's the bathroom. So as they turn
[1:48:58] the corner, there leaning against the
[1:49:01] door was some baba.
[1:49:05] uh hunkered down with his back against
[1:49:07] the door and his blanket up over his
[1:49:10] head. You couldn't see his face.
[1:49:13] And as Ma as Siddima walked by him, he
[1:49:17] goes like still goes Jay like that, you
[1:49:20] know. And so Sidima stops and goes like
[1:49:23] that and goes to the bathroom. And then
[1:49:26] Ja comes back and says, "Baba, do you
[1:49:28] know this woman?" And he says, "She's
[1:49:31] the mother of the universe.
[1:49:35] So J goes oh you know and then Ma comes
[1:49:39] out pronouncs to the baba and then goes
[1:49:42] back to her birth.
[1:49:45] So Ja decides that Jivvantima the other
[1:49:47] ma who had the heart attack has to see
[1:49:50] this baba. So with great difficulty they
[1:49:53] make their way down the the walkway in
[1:49:56] the train car and they come in front and
[1:50:00] um so
[1:50:03] pronounced to the Baba. She's can can't
[1:50:06] she's standing and the baba reaches into
[1:50:08] his jol his bag and pulls out fresh hot
[1:50:13] puris
[1:50:15] from the bag and still you can't see his
[1:50:18] face and he starts breaking them up in
[1:50:20] pieces and feeding Jivvantima like this
[1:50:23] feeding her like you know to her mouth
[1:50:25] like that
[1:50:27] and uh Jivvantima's weeping because this
[1:50:31] is the way Maharaji used to feed her.
[1:50:34] So at some point Jayla takes her back to
[1:50:37] the birth to her car and then she comes
[1:50:40] back to see the baba again. But at this
[1:50:42] point the train has come to a station
[1:50:45] and the baba had gotten up and opened
[1:50:47] the the door to the train. And as he
[1:50:50] stepped out onto the platform, Ja said,
[1:50:53] "Baba, is there anything I can do for
[1:50:55] you?" And he steps out on the platform
[1:50:57] and disappeared right in front of her
[1:51:00] eyes.
[1:51:02] Should I say that again?
[1:51:05] Did you get that? Okay. Right in front
[1:51:08] of her eyes
[1:51:12] and looked sida looked at me and said
[1:51:14] Krishna Das
[1:51:16] no one can understand
[1:51:19] Maharaji's play
[1:51:22] after he's left the body
[1:51:25] go. And she sent me away.
[1:51:29] So
[1:51:33] yeah,
[1:51:41] we're so limited in our
[1:51:44] what we allow our minds to experience.
[1:51:49] Our filters are up. Our walls are up.
[1:51:53] Our minds are overactive
[1:51:57] and locked into a very narrow bandwidth.
[1:52:03] So
[1:52:06] when these great beings say I am here,
[1:52:11] I am with you. I am I will always be
[1:52:14] with you. When you think of me, I am
[1:52:17] there. Once I take your hand, I never
[1:52:20] let go. Even when you let go of mine,
[1:52:24] when they say these things, they mean
[1:52:26] it.
[1:52:30] It's only us that can't
[1:52:34] trust it, that can't open to it.
[1:52:40] But that's the truth.
[1:52:45] We're just lost.
[1:52:48] So, let's get found. Okay, that's why
[1:52:51] we're here.
[1:52:54] And when we find ourselves, we'll find
[1:52:56] everything.
[1:53:18] Don't look outside for
[1:53:20] love for attention, for affection.
[1:53:25] Everything we need is within us.
[1:53:29] All we have to do is uncover it.
[1:53:37] Which means we have to pay attention to
[1:53:38] our stuff in order to let go of it.
[1:53:43] It's already stuck to us.
[1:53:45] So to free ourselves of it, we have to
[1:53:49] see it
[1:53:50] and let it go again and again and again
[1:53:53] until it doesn't come back.
[1:55:04] Thank you for all the images and
[1:55:07] metaphors and stories that really
[1:55:10] >> I had no idea.
[1:55:14] >> So I'm new meeting you for the first
[1:55:16] time. Can you share a story or image of
[1:55:20] your relationship with Swami Sachananda?
[1:55:26] >> I didn't know him very well actually. I
[1:55:28] only met him a few times
[1:55:31] actually. I followed his instructions.
[1:55:33] One time I met him in New York way early
[1:55:35] on. I came up in front of him and he
[1:55:38] said, "What's your question?" And I
[1:55:40] said, "I don't have one." He said,
[1:55:42] "Well, when you figure it out, come
[1:55:45] back.
[1:55:46] Well, I never figured it out.
[1:55:53] >> I'm back. Yeah. And then when I first
[1:55:56] came here
[1:55:58] um
[1:56:02] I was told that uh we started to sing
[1:56:05] and I was told that when Swami came out
[1:56:07] of the back room, we had seven minutes
[1:56:11] and then we had to stop. Okay. So, we're
[1:56:14] just about to start Namashivaya, and it
[1:56:16] was going to be the last chant that I
[1:56:18] did. And he came out. So, I said, "Oh,
[1:56:23] okay, everybody. We're going to do a
[1:56:25] 15-minute chant in seven minutes." And
[1:56:27] he just laughed and he said, "No, no,
[1:56:29] you just sing. You just sing." So, we
[1:56:31] did.
[1:56:33] And he made me promise to come back even
[1:56:36] when he wasn't here. He said,
[1:56:39] "So, I'm here.
[1:56:44] I first learned Austin is from uh from
[1:56:46] one of his students in New York. He said
[1:56:49] his name was Hardy. I said, "Oh, hi
[1:56:51] Harry."
[1:56:53] He said, "Hurry."
[1:56:58] So I didn't go back.
[1:57:08] Yeah. And actually Sachidananda had a
[1:57:12] guru brother named Somi Chitananda whom
[1:57:14] many of you might know
[1:57:17] and um
[1:57:20] I forget what year it was it might have
[1:57:23] been 1969
[1:57:26] spring maybe
[1:57:28] uh Swami Sachidandanda was staying at
[1:57:30] Ananda ashram in upstate New York. is 69
[1:57:35] maybe somebody might know but around
[1:57:38] that time 69 probably and um he was
[1:57:42] doing uh
[1:57:44] like a dayong
[1:57:46] something. So I went because I live
[1:57:49] nearby
[1:57:50] and uh at the end he was giving a
[1:57:53] lecture outside and it was like on a
[1:57:55] hill
[1:57:58] and so I was sitting with other people
[1:58:00] outside and there was this another swami
[1:58:03] sitting with him with shaving you know
[1:58:07] short hair and very skinny very auster
[1:58:11] looking you know I remember so Swami
[1:58:15] Sachananda gave his talk and And he used
[1:58:18] to end his talks with that har, you
[1:58:20] know. So he ended the talk and I was
[1:58:23] waiting for the har. But instead
[1:58:27] that other guy
[1:58:29] went,
[1:58:33] you know, like this and my whole body
[1:58:35] just went
[1:58:37] like this. Whoa.
[1:58:40] I was just like, but I didn't know
[1:58:43] anybody there. So I didn't know who it
[1:58:45] was. So I didn't have you know so I left
[1:58:50] and two years later
[1:58:53] let's see the summer the spring of 72
[1:58:56] I'm living in the temple with Maharaji
[1:58:59] and a car pulls up and a bunch of
[1:59:03] swamies get out of the car and they come
[1:59:05] into the temple and they go right into
[1:59:06] Maharaji's room which was a little bit
[1:59:08] unusual
[1:59:10] and
[1:59:12] they go in and all then I here SJ the
[1:59:16] same Sri Ram Jam I said what is this who
[1:59:20] is this it was Swami Chitananda
[1:59:23] so I first heard and he was very close
[1:59:25] with Maharaji and in fact they told me
[1:59:28] that it was Maharaji who leaned on him
[1:59:32] to accept the the leadership of the
[1:59:35] divine life society in Rishiesh Swami
[1:59:38] Shivanand's place he wanted to go off
[1:59:41] after Swami Shivanandanda died he wanted
[1:59:43] to run off to the jungle
[1:59:44] But they made him stay. So and he had
[1:59:48] been singing to Maharaji for many years
[1:59:50] because they knew each other a long
[1:59:51] time. So I first heard Shriram Jam from
[1:59:56] Swami Chitananda who'd been singing it
[1:59:58] to Maharaji for years.
[2:00:01] How's that?
[2:00:03] Pretty cool.
[2:00:05] And then I've been very as many years
[2:00:08] later
[2:00:11] Swami Chitananda had an attendant whose
[2:00:13] name was Swani Vimlan
[2:00:15] who I who just was I loved so much and
[2:00:19] he he was very kind to me. He was we
[2:00:22] became very close and for maybe the last
[2:00:26] 10 years of his life we were very very
[2:00:27] close and he went through cancer and all
[2:00:30] kinds of things and
[2:00:33] I saw him the last time I was in India I
[2:00:35] think it was 2018
[2:00:38] at Shivanandsham and he looked at me he
[2:00:43] used to call me Krishna Maharaj that's
[2:00:45] what he called me he said Krishna
[2:00:48] Maharaj
[2:00:50] this is the last time we'll be meeting
[2:00:52] in these bodies
[2:00:55] and it was
[2:01:12] so there was somebody else right.
[2:01:18] Thank you.
[2:01:19] Do you have any advice to someone who is
[2:01:22] trying to build a Kurttown community? Uh
[2:01:25] particularly somebody who doesn't have a
[2:01:27] musical background and in a location
[2:01:30] where that community doesn't exist.
[2:01:33] >> Don't quit your day job.
[2:01:34] >> Yeah,
[2:01:42] that's about it. Everything goes from
[2:01:45] there.
[2:01:47] Um,
[2:01:49] and people ask me,
[2:01:52] yeah, uh,
[2:01:54] how did I start chanting? I said, I
[2:01:57] don't know. I had to, you know, I'm not
[2:02:02] I'm not doing this. I'm doing this cuz I
[2:02:05] have to.
[2:02:07] This is what keeps me straight. This is
[2:02:09] what saves me every day.
[2:02:12] without this, you know, like I'm up to
[2:02:15] my I'm up to here in the water, right?
[2:02:17] If I sing, I I I can still breathe. If I
[2:02:21] don't sing,
[2:02:23] I start gurgling.
[2:02:26] So, it has to be like that.
[2:02:29] You know, you don't sing for other
[2:02:30] people. Communities suck. You start
[2:02:33] something, you'll get nothing but
[2:02:34] [ __ ] from people,
[2:02:38] including your own.
[2:02:40] Sing at home. You want to sing? Sing.
[2:02:42] Who's stopping you? But as far as
[2:02:44] communities, if it happens, is this a
[2:02:47] community? It happened. I didn't ask for
[2:02:50] this. I just started singing to save my
[2:02:54] ass. But my ass got really big.
[2:03:05] So you sing
[2:03:08] from your heart to your heart. Anything
[2:03:10] else is
[2:03:13] not only a waste of time but dangerous
[2:03:17] for you.
[2:03:19] It's not for other people. It's not for
[2:03:21] fame. It's not for a job. It's not for
[2:03:23] self-expression.
[2:03:26] It's for to find out who you are.
[2:03:30] Nothing else.
[2:03:32] So if that's why you're doing it, do it.
[2:03:35] If that's not why you're doing it,
[2:03:37] figure it out.
[2:03:39] It's a spiritual practice. It's not
[2:03:40] music. It's not entertainment.
[2:03:51] Sida used to say Krishna you don't sing
[2:03:53] to people you sing to those siddhas who
[2:03:56] live on the hill. There was a hill
[2:03:58] outside of Kenchi above the temple and
[2:04:00] they say that Krishna's guru lives there
[2:04:03] still. And some people have seen
[2:04:08] fire and heard gongs going on up on top
[2:04:10] of this mountain and they say that's his
[2:04:14] name is Gachara Gacharia G A R G
[2:04:17] Krishna's guru still doing puja up there
[2:04:20] sing to him sing to the siddhas on the
[2:04:22] hill you don't sing to people are people
[2:04:26] egos that's not who you sing to these
[2:04:29] are the names of your own true nature
[2:04:33] find out what that is
[2:04:42] parrots can make can say you're wrong,
[2:04:46] you know,
[2:04:51] but
[2:04:53] you know,
[2:05:01] you don't have to know who you're
[2:05:02] singing to, but you have to be you have
[2:05:05] to be committed to
[2:05:09] to doing it as a practice,
[2:05:12] you know, and that involves you and your
[2:05:15] own heart, nobody else.
[2:05:17] Although in my case the I was in my room
[2:05:20] you know in New York and
[2:05:24] I was very very depressed and uh I went
[2:05:28] from one room to the other and I got
[2:05:30] struck with this lightning bolt this and
[2:05:33] at that moment I it's
[2:05:36] if I understood if I did not sing with
[2:05:38] people
[2:05:41] I would never be able to clean out the
[2:05:42] dark shadows in my own heart.
[2:05:46] Yeah, I didn't want to. I had to.
[2:05:54] The jury's out on whether it's going to
[2:05:55] work or not.
[2:05:58] We'll see.
[2:06:04] Okay.
[2:06:05] Anybody else? We got tomorrow, right?
[2:06:08] We're doing this again tomorrow. Oh,
[2:06:10] yeah. Here. And then even Monday
[2:06:13] morning, we're doing this.
[2:06:15] What the [ __ ]
[2:06:18] >> I'm sorry.
[2:06:20] >> Uh, somebody already asked to speak of
[2:06:22] Sachi Swami Sachi Danda. Mine is just a
[2:06:25] comment. So, I first heard of you and
[2:06:28] your music cooking in this kitchen right
[2:06:30] here.
[2:06:31] >> Um, so during the pandemic, we played
[2:06:34] your music every day during while we
[2:06:36] were prepping lunch.
[2:06:38] >> But after a few months, your CDs just
[2:06:40] disappeared. Somebody hid them.
[2:06:42] >> Somebody hid them. Ah,
[2:06:46] >> I would hate to be that person in their
[2:06:48] next life.
[2:06:50] They'll be buried by CDs.
[2:06:55] What to do?
[2:06:58] Okay, see you later. Huh?
[2:07:00] [Music]
[2:07:03] [Applause]
